``[lovEs mE nOt?]

imy

2011-04-12T14:57:00.001+08:00

When I miss you, I'll look up for, "Airplanes" .

ruk ter doo lai mai dai

2011-04-10T21:41:00.000+08:00

i tot i could. everywhere , anywhere , i see you, see us . den realised, i was wrong . nobody gonna start nagging at me when i sleep late when there's work th next day. nobody gonna bring me to doctor when i fall sick. nobody gonna bring me to funny places for dinner. nobody gonna hugg me when thunder comes. nobody gonna buy me jellies anymore. nobody gonna walk th whole street with me juse becos i wanna buy particular item. nobody gonna laugh at my canto anymore. nobody gonna watch taiwan drama with me. nobody gonna do silly things with me. nobody gonna feed me with knowledge that i find it amazing. nobody gonna smack my head when i throw th wrong card during mahjong. nobody gonna play wrestling with me. nobody gonna say my nails colour are awful and demand me to change it right away. nobody gonna choose clothes and heels when i cant make up my mind. nobody gonna give me directions when im lost in nowhere. nobody gonna give me massage when my back hurts. nobody gonna cook my fav shark fins soup for me anymore. nobody gonna remind me things that i always forget. nobody gonna apply lotion for me. nobody gonna protect me whatever im scared of. nobody gonna bring my best smile out of me anymore. cos somebody's gone.

2011-01-25T16:58:00.002+08:00

I HATE IT WHEN YOU GIMME ALL SORT OF EXCUSES AFTER DOING SO MUCH !
I THINK TH PERSON WHOM LOVE YOU MOST ISNT ME,
IS YOURSELF !

labels : damn you, MOTHA-FUCKING ARSEHOLE !

2011-01-03T15:55:00.002+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE !
I know its kinda bit late.
to everyone whom texted me, im sorry for not replying.
'cos I lost my contacts like in mid dec,
thus, I wont want to reply you guys asking who are you.
like so rude? LOL .
on top of that, i dun have time, cos Im outside. hahahas !

2010 was just a roller coster ride.
up and down , budd too fast for me to feel anything at that very moment.
at the end of th day, enjoying it still.

in a blink of eye, 2011's here.
i'll be turning 21 in Oct.
lawfully and rightfully an adult.
im going to achieve as much as possible, to make it memorable.

a quick recap on 2010...
CNY + V-day without Boyfrd in Feb.
Malaysia JB with Boyfrd and Family in Mar.
Big Fight with Boyfrd in July. =(
First TP in August. *fail*
Second TP in Sept. *fail*
a impt choice made in Oct.
simple birthday celebration(s).Oct&Nov.
JingWen's birthday celebration at resort in Nov.
Third TP fail again in Dec *fail*
Jacqueline's ROM in Dec.
Learn kickboxing.
Got myself a itouch.
Learn how to play Monopoly Deal. haha!
Start learning Canto.
Got more kikis to my collection.
Virgin Trip. to KL!
Laugh my ass off seeing part of DSB got high on NY's day.
most inportantly, i spent my last min of 2010 holding th same person's hand. x3

I got no resolutions this year.
cos I always feel so disappointed whenever i didnt "hit th target"so,
Im gonna "draw" it out step by step, day by day.
th only thing I wished for was th hand that i held on for 2 consecutive years,
would still be there. I know its never too difficult. (:

right, im gonna blog more often, cos I realised i'll forget stuffs after like less than a week ?

labels : baby, 2011 will be better. x3

Why Bother ?

2010-12-16T11:09:00.002+08:00

When they treat you as nobody, why bother ?
When they dont even ask, why bother ?
When they mind your existence, why bother ?
When they dont bother, den all th more why should I bother ?
Oh so fake , Family.

I admit, Im out of Taiwan Drama beginning of this year.
I know this is damn old.
But nobody told me bout it.
That's why I'm watching it now, and I'm hooked !

下一站，幸福.
Th only reason I watched is cause Vanness Wu is th male lead.
FML for knowing now.

&&& this guy is so

adorable

and sweet

so charming

and HOT !

I went gaga over him whilst watching.
Jolene cant stand me either.
hahas !
Im continuing tonight ! (:

labels : 11 more days to KL !

2010-12-06T15:47:00.002+08:00

SERIOUSLY, FML FOR THIS TP TEST !
I've never ever feel myself so useless.
i need a break !
too much stress.
time for me to do a body check-up.
I hope its just too stressful, a lil medication can be controlled.
I SUCKS !
labels : you're th reason for me to carry on ..

angdiong,peiban;huatzai

2010-11-25T11:48:00.002+08:00

MAHJONG TONIGHT with my girls.
th game that decide who's gonna have th name of "Queen of Mahjong" ;
th game that decide who's gonna be th Loser ! ;
th game that decide our Fate.

Ali Baba ! please poh pi wa ! HUAT ARHHS !

labels : why so serious ? LOL .

HE'S SO HANDSOME !!!

2010-11-20T09:56:00.002+08:00

Sat, th only time I can blog. LOL .
budd i got nothing much today.
its all work work work .
I wanna apologise to Joe.K .
I've lost his phone on Tuesday. SIGH !
Hope he wont be too angry . hahas!
Gotta buy another one for him next week . tsk tsk tsk !
Its been so long i last lost something.
normally, i only misplace it and it would just pop out one day .
FUCK th siam bu who took it !!
I would return every lost phone found to th owner .
好人没好报 . FML !

Okay ! budd Jing Wen's birthday is really really so fun .
(except for th losing of phone in th end)
He's totally drunk !! I mean totally.
if not cos of us, he would be conveniently sleeping on th sofa.
and th guy in resort is damn mutha-fking handsome !!!!
ROARsss !
If my boyf were to be him, i'll become good girl !! LOL .

alright alright !
im only looking forward to upcoming trip to KL .
Hopefully it wont be affected by our "FY" . hmmm .

first good entry of 20th (:

2010-11-04T11:28:00.004+08:00

HEY ! im back to this lil space.

seems like nobody will drop by here anymore. tsk !

Birthday's still good.

didnt go anywhr , except for th countdown party with my family.

EastCoast for dinner , cabana , den along th Beach for activities.

Pictures would be up when Ms Pang upload them.

Just one !

SEE HOW 过分 THEY ARE !

I look like a Christmas Tree after that.

If i were to know they're playing this, i will wear green . LOL .

Regret setting th theme on Childhood Memories. TSK !

Waiting for my Long Weekend !

WAIT FOR ME ! My BaiBanHongZongFaCai ! Mummy's coming !! (:

labels : you've made me breathless

2010-10-26T14:50:00.002+08:00

"why can he's able to do it ; budd you cant ? "
am i suppose to ask this ?
"its not fair to him, cos you've made him your choice."
DONE ! *ding ding ding* YOU LOST !
im so lost.
gimme a break .
regardless of which place.
just bring me faraway .
i just need a few to be there ; to make my life better ..
where did i go wrong ?
wrong choice?
DAMN IT !
not a good time to think / consider / re-consider now.
label : leave me alone

20th !

2010-10-22T09:30:00.007+08:00

Hi Peeps !
Im here again , during working hours ! ZZZ !
gotta make it a fast one..
right right, im feeling much better already , compared to last few days.
I'll be switching dept after this week. Good or Bad ? We'll talk about it when th time comes.
Anyway ...

to Me !!
will be having dinner tonight will my little (L)family , hopefully , they wont be that crazy .. *roll eyes*
im feeling so tiredd now !!
im so excited last night that i cant get to slp.. *imagination running wild, again*

maybe my celebration will end up like this ?

ballons everywhr .. ?

okay. not forgetting im afraid of them bursting right under my nose..

isnt it sweet ?

budd i guess these are more suitable for wedding .. LOL .

i'll leave this idea for future use..

and this is too cramp for me to even walk thru. too exaggerating lahhs. hahas !

this this this ? looks fine right ? if we leave th green ones out, gonna be th best !

den comes all these, roses roses roses..

budd i wont want to receive these on EVERY occasions.

maybe some kind souls wanna buy me this land ? Full of Sunflowers ~!

or maybe just to catch a glimpse of this , PLEASE ~~ *hint hint*

how about all these ? ^^

okay.. i'll need a full room for all .. LOL .

maybe this ? probably on my 21st birthday ..?

boyf will buy me one of this ?

Cerato Koup , or even Gulf GTI ? PERFECT ! CHIO-NESS !

digital camera before i start all th trips ?

i hope , it'll be next year.. ):

and i'll leave this beautiful place for my Honeymoon. !!

and i'll be most happy if i see these ... hahas *smack*

daydreaming again !

budd i fell aslp sweetly last night, when i think of them ~~

hearts!

thou this year is obviously not a very good year for me, budd at this moment, i think i should just smile abit ..
firstly , cos its my birthday lahhs ! (DUH~)
secondly , when my birthday's here = year end coming = a new year to start ahead = no bad luck ! (((:

i'll come back with pictures tonight . Unglam or not, i'll still post them up . stay tune ~~

time check : 11:08am

counting down : 12H52mins.

labels : i just need you to complete my life.

2010-10-19T11:04:00.003+08:00

oh well . how long have i not drop by here ?

last two weeks or three wasnt a very time to be sitting still and blogg.

i almost had th world clashing down on me ..
Yes ! that terrible. I seriously had enough ..

Time to move on .. Onto a better road ..

~~4 more days~~ to be exact, 3 and a half more days to my birthday .

Hi, Welcome to th "2" headed digit. *sigh*

let's not talk bout it ..

seriously, its so disheartening not to be achieving anything this year .

NOT AT ALL .

cos whatever written in my Hello Kitty schedule book had never come true .. (wad an Loser!)

well , its not about going to some faraway country and stuffs.

its just something like :

buying a Digital Camera for myself ?

th H.Kitty Mahjong set .

a New Phone .

Lappies for th both of us.

Not throwing tamtrum at Boyf

Start saving up for Trips.

Start scoring towards ~~career~~ ; studies ; dance

Driving License before Yr 2010 ends.

Such simple things..

A big "L" on my forehead . **low moral**

FINE ! at least i got myself a stable job, and im sure im gonna get my driving license this time .

3rd of Dec, my LAST TRY !!

budd my Greatest achievement was keeping my Love throughout this year.

okay, not exactly.. at least not to th extend of losing totally.

Rest assure it gonna be Now and Forever this time round. (:

In addition , I hope that a particular page in my schedule book next year wont be fully occupied.

Bcos I normally would write a sentence or two when Boyf really upsets me .. hahas !

Intention wasnt to take revenge or dig out anything when having a fight .

I just love reminding myself that this journey was never easy.

so, if there's a day i really feel like giving up , i'll think twice ..

unless under some circumstances, i'll definitely drop th idea aftermath.

alrght, think i'll drop th subject.

bcos i literally dun like th idea of giving up ..

and i wont allow myself to give up without fighting for it.

GO GO NGYAYA !! (:

anw, i've made up my mind to achieve ~~everything~~ as much as possible next year.

additional will be ...

going overseas .

Bali ; Taiwan ; Aus

Hopefully everything will go smoothly as plan .

I wanna visit MBS as well .

spend some quality time with Boyf , allow us to have a break for some relaxation ..

Talk about him .. TSK !

He's so so busy now .

Thank God for still having th chance to take care of him when he's feeling uncomfy ,

listening to whatever he wanna rant bout when he met some unhappiness at work ,

reminding him to drink his "not-very-nice" chicken essence after his hectic days of work .

(if i go on, it'll be forever ... )

Though I can never help out in his work , I hope moral support would.

Although im determined that i'll do a good job as his girl , deep inside down , i feel skeptical at times. *sigh*

okay, whatever is it . I live only ONCE , and im gonna live th best .

alright! i'll drop by again very very soon .

Bcos im exceptionally free this week . (:

labels : Hi Baby ! (:

2010-09-23T16:36:00.002+08:00

im going crazy !!
thus, i stopped looking at documents, open my seaweed peanut, munching away..

and here i am.

im so so so tiredd .

its another long week again.. cos i'll be working on Sat, as well as having driving revision.

last revision, hopefully.

wifey failed hers. ):

i tot she would pass. well, try again next time okay ? x3

i got th sudden urge to go swimming , dancing , mahjong-ing, singing, drinking ...

den back home on th big big bed and fall aslp soundly.

can i like take MC and do that ? hahahahas !!

i've lost it !

Sadly, I cant !

and still, gotta sleep early tonight for i have got meeting early in th morning tmr.

Now , tell me ..

WHATS LIFE? !

labels : i miss you

2010-09-13T21:39:00.001+08:00

Time check : 9.18pm.
Im still here, in office !
im so so so tiredd ..
i wanna go ~~home~~ palace, with ;King's around . SIGH !
well, if there's no weekdays, there'll never be weekends.
hahas. wad a stupid way to console myself ehs.. ?
this long weekend's fun indeed.
Got a gathering with my khakis.
steamboat, mahjong .. everyth's so heart-warming.
wifey's cooking skill getting better. can marry already lo .. LOL .
except for th "black ku ku" , quoted from xian and boon .
they were actually referring to th taiwan sausage.
think th oil too hot, ~~all~~ most of them turned charred.
budd i like th way she wrapped th golden mushroom with bacon.
boon agreed that's consider pro already lehs. without toothpick at all .
sometimes, having such lil, simple gathering is really nice..
we dun need big big house, we dun need sumptious food.
we just need each and everyone there to enjoy , including th process.
im actually glad that ;King didnt make any noise, i tot he would.
complaining too warm, complaining too small.
budd he seems quite comfortable. (:
okay ! so much of talking ! sorry, no pics!
i hope wifey took .. so that i could grabbed grabbed ! wahahas !

random :
Shanghai Dolly's not my kinda place. TSK !
i hope blogshop will be done sooooooooon ~ MISS PANGGGG!!!
i hope time will pass faster for my holidays to be next week !!
i hope ;King's here .
i hope i can leave th office noooooooooowwwww ~~

Bye !

labels : im so in love with you.

I Need 48 Hours A Day !

2010-09-03T12:40:00.002+08:00

I need to clear stacks and stacks of documents.
I've got tons to do and everybody's chasking after my ass.
(HEY ! IM STILL NEW OKAY !???!)
I need to do up my blogshop by this weekend !!!
I need to SSSLLLEEEEEEPPP ~~
I havent been catch up with my friends.
I need to spend quality time with my love(s).
I need to run some errand before deadline.
Afterall, what I need now is , $$$ MOOLAH $$$ , to make lots of things possible.
hahas.
I cant stop complaining , i know.
cos I need to thrash it out.
Im getting more and more white hairs.
*STRESSED UP**
I NEED A BREAK !!!

labels : most importantly, i need you, to be here, with me.

FML !

2010-08-30T11:30:00.001+08:00

Sept gonna be a super duper shag month for me..
gonna pay off my phone debt. bad debts here and there, second try of TP .
and fuck ! this job is damn tirring.
to th extend whr i dun feel like gng anywhr budd home to slp after work.
people here are not cooperating.
teach bit here, den walk off, teach bit there, den back to their seat.
den i have to struggle and piece them up together.
that explains why i dun feel like coming to work at times.
in addition with th medication i've taken previously, its bad effect seems to be appearing on me, only.
aching here and there. got super lethargic after few hours of ~~play~~ work.
or even just sitting there watching television. YES, that bad !
feeling hungry in few hours, and I HAVE TO EAT IMMEDIATELY !
if not, i'll lost my appetite after a while.
and guess wad, i'll feel like vomitting after meals. *faints*
i've try to control not to. at times, gastric juice just gashed out.
tsk tsk. TERRIBLE !
then again, its so so so amazing that when ;King's around, i wont.
just a little too sleepy. probably th food he cooks is wad my stomach's growling for. LOL !
alright alright !
im actually very very busy at work. budd i just cant concentrate. its so irritating that you feel so lost and dunno wad to do and how to do !!
if i were to find a better job ... ...

Saturday's tiring. went for The Muscial, Fried Rice Paradise.
Interesting ~ ! too bad Josh wasnt one of th lead, feel bit wasted for him to be only dancing here and there. hmmm .
Supper after that at Makansutra . didnt eat much thou, cos im starting to feel a little uncomfortable before th Musical. ):
and doubt ;King's full as well. Thanks for th Milo, that makes me feel real better. x3
Cab home with ;King's concubine after that. and we went seperate ways back home.
Sunday's always a family day. (:
that passes too fast for Monday Blue. ):

inside joke : FengShui's not benefitting me in th East area. Time to move to th West. (:

labels : wad's weekend without you ?

2010-08-25T11:47:00.002+08:00

Com got auto shut down.
thereafter , no mood to continue with work.
i realised, there's too much food either on my desk, or in my cupboard.
Th Nasi Lemak's making me freaking hungry ! 15 mins to lunchtime.!!
Butter Cookies, Chips More , Dou Sa Pia, Preserved Fruits ...
i need to stock up my cup noodles, and candies !
and now, im still munching on my Pringles, non-stop !
Just like their moto, once you pop, you cant stop. LOL.
and worse, im not drinking plain water.
Bcos there standing th vending machine with variety of drinks just in th pantry.
like 20-30 steps away. wahahas !
;King gonna kill me.. LOL.
and i hope he wont confiscate all money that i used on tidbits and give me just 5 bucks allowance everyday.
hohoho !
its wednesday today ! how many hours more to endure before my weekend? SIGH!
;King's not feeling well. Pls call th doctor for him ! LOL.
okay.. i actually got nothing to blog about today.
just feeling random..
well, gotta go anw, my nasi lemak's calling upon me.
labels : im just like you. (:

FML !

2010-08-24T15:33:00.002+08:00

Yes Yes ! I failed my TP.
Striked kerb TWICE just in PARALLEL PARKING !
and besides that, EVERYTHING WERE RIGHT !
DAMN IT !!!
I was nagging to my ;King ALL TH WAY ! hahas!

Besides th TP on Friday, weekend was acceptably fun.
Ray's Birthday celebration on Sat.
All my Girls and I were busy taking photos, ~~chatting~~ Gossipping, as usual !
and I saw quite of number of familiar faces there. LOL .

Went off with Ms.Chew and boyf at 1 plus.
;King went for movie with DSB. and I went home, cos i have to go bai ah ma th next day. ):
Off to play majong around noon.
Lost 40 bucks ! tmd tmd !
Went Bukit Merah for dinner. den Home Sweet Home.

~~Work WOrk WORk WORK~~ !
Fucking Hell ! alot of work !!
im so tired.

labels : so looking forward for our holidays.

bcos you dunno me .

2010-08-18T13:22:00.006+08:00

whatever you guys wanna say, i'll take it.
be it you wanna lecture me, or even insults.
budd if you're just looking at th surface of a particular issue, den STFU !
i act what i say .
i've give warning beforehand .
if you're ignorant to realise, blame it on your stupidity .
im not smart. yet, not dumb.
not dumb enuff to allow people to take advantage.
and mind you !
i dun need any forgiveness, cos i've done nothing wrong
if you cant be understanding, den just be it. im cool .
i have my own way of handling issues, so do you.
look, my life have never been smooth,
that's explain th risk i dare to take on.
den tell me what about you ?
if you were to tell me that you would choose to avoid,
gradually give it up at that point of time. FCUK YOU !
den you're not th one who deserve any Happiness.
just watch me, i'll prove those ignorant kids wrong !
and those who know how to read between th lines,
calm enuff to analyse when things get into your way,
welcome to this World.
still, beware of troubles those kids' going to give.
labels : done!

Just b'cos you love me.

2010-08-17T16:30:00.004+08:00

Table : Heart Ace ; Spade 2 , Diamond 5 , Spade 4 , ???
You : Diamond Ace , Cub Ace
Me : Spade 3 , Spade 5
Last card .
No Fold ; No Check , For me.
I'll SHOWHAND , rascal !
summon up th courage and double up th earnings.
labels : F your 4ofakind. Watch me, Royal Flash !

I miss you !

2010-08-16T10:50:00.002+08:00

"So dear I love him that with him,
All deaths I could endure.
Without him, live no life."
-- William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet

labels : im crazy over you.

Never too late

2010-08-16T10:32:00.003+08:00

What's there to complain when you've found th real happiness on Earth ?
Having someone there to love you.
Having someone to be your best friend.
Having th same interest, same goal in life.
Having th reason to smile and work hard everyday.
Most importantly, having Someone whom you would give up anything for, just to spend your life with.
labels : im glad we've made it thru.

I dun wanna get my time wasted again.

2010-08-11T16:03:00.004+08:00

I will never find another lover sweeter than you, sweeter than you
And I will never find another lover more precious than you, more Precious than you
Girl you are close to me you're like my mother,
Close to me you're like my father,
Close to me you're like my sister,
Close to me you're like my brother
You are the only one your my everything and for you this song I sing
And all my life I've prayed for someone like you
And I thank God that I, that I finally found you
All my life I've prayed for someone like you
And I hope that you feel the same way too
Yes, I pray that you do love me too
I said you're all that I'm thinking of... baby
Said, I promise to never fall in love with a stranger,
You're all I'm thinking of,
I praise the Lord above,
For sending me your love,
I cherish every hug,
I really love you
And all my life, baby, baby, I've prayed for someone like you,
And I thank God that I, that I finally found you, baby
All my life I've prayed for someone like you
And I hope that you feel the same way too
Yes, I pray that you do, love me
You're all that I ever known, when you smile, on my face, all I see is a glow.
You turned my life around, you picked me up when I was down.

labels : no more tears of despair.

someday ...

2010-08-10T09:53:00.003+08:00

someday .. when i have got th strength, th energy, ample reason for me to stand up again,
I'll fight for whatever i ever want.
try stopping me ? I'll strangle you to death . (wahahas!)
not so serious thou . budd im gonna prove all of YOU , wrong .

yes , life's contradicting.
i've been lying to myself time and again .
i've been doing things cos of others, budd never for myself.
den again, i asked myself, wad's th point of living ?

you actually shown me something that i wanted to see in him, years ago..
so, i decided , to try one more time ...

labels : my only sunshine

sick sick sick !

2010-08-04T11:48:00.005+08:00

been sick for a few days.
bad running nose. fever on and off.
feeling so lethargic, wanting to vomit every now and then.
have been slping non-stop.
SHAGGGGGGGGGGG !

songs twirling here and there when im in a daze or aslp .
okay. pardon me for th emo-ness. cos im really not feeling very well .

半情歌 - 元若蓝
花接受凋零风接受追寻
心的伤还有一些不要紧我接受你的决定
你将会被谁抱紧唱什么歌哄他开心
我想着天空什么时候会放晴地球不曾为谁停一停
你的明天有多快乐不是我的
我们的爱是唱一半的歌
时间把习惯换了伤口愈合
也撤销我再想你的资格
你的祝福一半甜的一半苦的
像我手中冷掉的可可最最教人残念的
总是未完成的我只能唱着一半的歌

黑裙子 - 张芸京
只为他穿过一次的黑裙子
深深锁在记忆的墙
写好的遗言也要用力唱
祭拜我们为了爱的疯狂
只为他穿过一次的黑裙子
还在风中荡
黑指甲短头发有些话不用讲
为爱我就是这样

如果没有你 - 莫文蔚
hey我真的好想你
现在窗外面又开始下着雨
眼睛干干的有想哭的心情
不知道你现在到底在哪里
hey我真的好想你
太多的情绪没适当的表情
最想说的话我应该从何说起
最想说的话我该从何说起
你是否也像我一样在想你
如果没有你没有过去我不会有伤心
但是有如果还是要爱你
如果没有你我在哪里又有什么可惜
反正一切来不及反正没有了自已

勾勾手 - 郭美美
心被海风吹过咸咸的自由
还隐隐作痛当太阳沉没我们的故事全剧终
伤被时间追过今天的自由是一道彩虹
带我迎接明天最亮的晴空抹乾眼泪往前走
用微笑召唤幸福海鸥
我们勾勾手不准不快乐
要比谁都快乐
就把舍不得都丢进回忆的黑洞尘封
都丢进成长的黑洞尘封
我们勾勾手如果遇见更好的人
一定要更坚强勇敢去追求
一定更坚强把爱勇敢追求

labels : i miss hugging xixi to slp .

This is Life !

2010-07-28T14:51:00.001+08:00

mummy always tell me this,
when you gain something, you gotta lose another.
when you lose something, you eventually will gain another.
(you de bi you shi ; you shi bi you de)
i didnt believe . budd now, i do .
put aside r/s , for sure . 'cos you can never have 2 partners at a time.
or even a "too-close-frd" of different gender when you're attached.
that's human .
people like me, who always try to hold on to th mindset of win-win situation, will eventually fail.
"BANG!" *back to square one*
yes, before i carry one , FML !
people knows that Friends come and go . Indeed .
Its always like that.
factors like:- time ; characteristics ; common frds ; rumours ; different mindset and ways of handling of issues gonna affect everything !
mummy always complain that i've got too many group of friends, and i've got no time for th family. i feel so bad at times , then again , its really difficult . im gonna lose out someth, eventually. *back to square one, again*

I've got a small group of girls and i always try my best to make time for them. hope they'll know. i miss mahjong with them, actually. (J.J.S)

I've got another group of funky classmates, seldom in contact . probably most of them in N.S. hope they're looking forward for another gathering. i miss gng everywhere with them. (P.E.J.G.C.Y)

I've got a group of older sist. not exactly group, bud only two . they're explainably awesome. as usual, meet up on occasions, busy with our own life and work. budd we always care. just lil action and word shows it all . I specially miss one of them, GHPS (& JLFB)

I've got a group of frds, they love watching movies . LOL . never fail to bring me a smile thru simple and relaxing weekend outings. (A.S.R. etc)

I've got working a few groups of working frds , all busy with work and personal life. Not that close actually. Budd they're good companion. (JY.W.S.D.D. etc)

A new group of funky frds. no, they're th "stirring" group . gonna have more white hair soon . not becos they're smart in excel . budd smart in "stirring" each other. have to be fast in your reaction, if not, you gonna go home either with your hair standing up, or face turning BLACK ! LOL . (XW.W.EL.AG.JJ.RH. etc)

I've got drinking frd, here and there . bad and good . (A-Z, name one)

I've got a few group of frds, lost b'cos of relationship . I've got nothing to comment.

I've got a group of frds . Always wanting to have a step nearer to them . Budd im always th last for them to reach me. I know they care , budd when th group gets together, i'll be lost. they're always in their world. I know nothing , budd only to listen how interesting their previous and previous gatherings were. and they never realised im actually struggling... (G.B.P.J)

I've got a frd, girlf, a sist. who never give up on me , either will i . hard to come by. we seldom meet up thou , budd still in close contact thru calls and sms. this is wad technologies are for!
I love her , and i know she do .
Never treat her like a kid , thou she's younger than me . she never like it , just like me .

Give us th minimal respect , talk to us like an adult. We'll know.
Dun expect people to be calling you up just bcos you're older. THIS IS NONSENSE !
hang ard with children then . i dun need such frds, seriously .
Im not pin-pointing anyone here right now . just in general .
BUDD ! if you think you're like this towards frds , time for reflection . if not, you'll end up with Mr. Lonely.

Anw , I've got a song specially for that particular special frd, NWW ! =D

一个像夏天一个像秋天 - 范玮琪

第一次见面看你不太顺眼
谁知道后来关系那么密切
我们一个像夏天一个像秋天
却总能把冬天变成了春天

你拖我离开一场爱的风雪
我背你逃出一次梦的断裂
遇见一个人然后
生命全改变
原来不是恋爱才有的情节

如果不是你
我不会相信
朋友比情人还死心塌地
就算我忙恋爱
把你冷冻结冰
你也不会恨我
只是骂我几句

如果不是你
我不会确定
朋友比情人更懂得倾听
我的弦外之音
我的有口无心
我离不开darling更离不开你

你了解我所有得意的东西
才常泼我冷水怕我忘形
你知道我所有丢脸的事情
却为我的美好形象保密

conclusion : if i cant catch up with th pace, im not going to be their burden . cry out loud, get it over and pick myself up again. MOVE ON! 'cos THIS IS LIFE !

pardon me for th emo-ness for this entry . its time to pour out whatever i wanna say . a lil issues recently makes me start to get th whole picture. its actually quite disappointing, budd relief at th same time. believing that One should always choose your path yourself. Not being a puppet, being understanding, being soft-hearted and being happy-go-lucky will be appreciated .

Entry for my Chalet over th weekend will be updated soon .

labels : th world would never revolve ard Anyone.

TGIF !

2010-07-23T11:12:00.001+08:00

OMFG ! Its Friday again !
and th best thing is, im not on this Sat !
Having a longgggg weekend this upcoming week .
Well, I'll try to come back with photos, provided my that lil poor hello kitty cam works.
If not, gonna come back empty handed again .
Blog skin will be changed soon .
Its time for a change ?
I've changed my job, my hairstyle (cut a lil) , my size (slim down a lil) , my attention (towards career) and status .
no more th soft-hearted yaya !
we shall see ~
labels : love me ? love me not ?

Superman !

2010-07-21T15:46:00.002+08:00

wakes me up every morning.
makes sure i eat every single meal.
makes sure im safe.
makes sure i sleep in peace.
makes sure i dont tired myself out.
listens to my whining and complain,
den makes my Laugh My Ass Off and forget everything im upset with.
lends me a shoulder if i really need to cry.
feels angry with th person who upset me.
smiles when im super duper happy.
never say "no" to wherever i wanna go to.
tries to make whatever i say possible.
makes me feel wanted.
and he's forever just a call away .
labels : hesmysuperman ! =D

its done !

2010-07-12T14:26:00.000+08:00

A perfectionist like me, always wants/loves a win-win situation.
Bud, Love failed me.
It makes me realised that its almost impossible.
Th sudden pain thru th last hug.
&& my Greatest and Last Love is setting you free and NEVER be selfish.
labels : i need jellies.

it makes a difference

2010-07-11T12:19:00.000+08:00

You never knew how painful is it for me to come up with this decision.
I really hope that your choice wouldnt be the alternative.
'cos I dun want to be hurting each other further.
I seriously, honestly dont want to make it up to me,
and I dont see a need to.
I'm drained.
Can you people just gimme a break .
labels : once bitten twice shy ; twice bitten NEVER try.

WHAT IS THIS ?!

2010-07-08T22:17:00.000+08:00

I digested EVERY SINGLE THING !
and now you treat it as NOTHING happens.
I hope that you'll make a good choice.
labels : you've already lost me.

is just another one

2010-07-04T22:26:00.000+08:00

Logically, yes ! I'll be better off without you .
Bud you never know how much I didnt want to let you go.
You've forgotten how hard I've tried.
Your "take care" hurts me most, today .
labels : youneverknew.

2010-06-22T11:20:00.002+08:00

im bored , so bored , bored die me !
status : office ; 11:21am ; feel like slping ; missing you

driving yesterday was pretty fun , budd , tiring !
ii took a total of 3 lesson , consecutively. which made up 6 hours in CDC .
God-Knows-How-I-Made-It-Thru . hahas !

Its already th last week in Rentokil.
I still cant make up my mind , whether to go back into Freight Forwarding or Designing.
should have just go for 1 will do . Can some Fairy God-mama split me into 2 ?

Thou getting into th Design industry is always my passion .
theres always a BUT . but but but , i've lost touch .
No confidence in succeeding over there.

Freight Forwarding will always be a Golden Rice Bowl , who will deny that ?
okay lahhs, so far so good .
relevant exp and relevant cerificate.
No doubt , gonna fetch me high pay.

I'M SO LOST ! HELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP~~

okay. I've got lots more of stuffs !
Boyf's not in good shape .
I gotta do "moulding" soon .
Just cross my fingers that my effort would get pay off at th end of th day .?!
(wahahas ! just th 5k ring will do.) ^^

Now den I know that Ms.Tan's Geog sucks , like mine.
Hopefully she wont flang like i do. LOL.
and I just left a msg for her, saying that if we both got lost in th jungle one day, we'll gonna die.
Look, by that time, i'm gonna tear th freaking map, step on th stupid compass, get into my car and on th GPS !
DONE ! LOL .

labels : STRIVE ;; together ;; you and me

2010-06-14T14:33:00.003+08:00

OHHHHHH HIIIIIIIII YOOOOO , everyone !
sorry to leave this space untouched for like a month plus. LOL .
i'll put up th pictures soon !
wifey's birthday was awesome, because she vomitted ! YAY !
busying relaxing, busying looking for job, busying learning driving, busying with my blogshop !
www.nevertoo-ex.blogspot.com
SUPPORT LAHHS ! Thanks in advance arhhs ! LOL .
alright , i'll get updates done by this week alright ?
bye Earthlings !

randomly.

2010-04-28T12:17:00.005+08:00

on some random day with precious at some random pub. =D

and its been so long ii take some decent pictures with this girl . x3

birthday celebration for xian was quite havoc.

pictures will be up soon. =D

didnt sing much cos they wasnt concentrationg on that. hahas .

budd still , th last song sang tgt got th most feeeeeeeeeeel ~ LOL .

baby's so sweet to be waiting for me at bugis junction , with joe's company. x3

hahas . ii forgot whr we went. dinner, den ... hmm .

ii remembered having supper at deskar road with guan, vin and xuan .

they were talking bout some army stuffs, which makes me feel so sleeeeeepy.

were indeed tired, cos we went mahjong on friday night, bq for less than an hour, home at 3am sharp . and ii literally crawl out of my bed for work th following day .

sunday was just a day for boyf and myself, to rest , and enjoy his company in his arms. =D

monday - mc ! LOL .

tuesday - mc , budd ii went to work okay ?!

met up jacq for a lil shopping at tamp .

Charles and Keith's footwear are making me so crazy.

even jacq was tempted . budd she gotta wait for her payday on monday.

ii bet she's gonna buy th super mad chio heels . LOL .

oh, ii bought 2 pairs . (oops!)

wifey went on leave today for her anni , god damn it !

i'm drowning in th pile and pile of documents in th morning !

im glad that im fast enuff to be blogging right now. LOL .

two more days to a year.

boyf's like so zai . NOT excited AT ALL ! *angry*
lalalas ~

taggs reply

;; weiqin - LOL . we like so lovey-dovey. *faints*

;; zw - Mr. AI SI HE ER ! LOL .

;; Passerby - o.0 ? thank you ! =D

;; Baoba0 - hey sweet, ii miss you so much ! text me, i've lost all th numbers. see ya soon. xxxxx3 !

lastly, let's us wish Zhixian ah kor, Happy 21st birthday !

i'll see you guys soon .

more updates on weekend. =D

3 = crowd

5 = overcrowded

10 = sardine fish .

labels : you never fail to ... ...

no longer matters ...

2010-04-22T14:38:00.003+08:00

had a good slp last night , FINALLY !
budd at least ii behaved myself last night after drinking.
no puking , probably cos I didnt have my dinner .
and I seriously drink damn slowly ..
budd my pool sucks . too " thirsty " . LOL .
and my singing sucks too , as if there's something stuck in my throat.
Indeed , true ~
tsk tsk !
got super emo after talking to qin and samuel last night . ROARS !
still, it didnt stop me from smiling . =D
"Everyth 's gonna be alright !"
especially to my Ng meimei . x3s

oh, pictures will be up asap .
no pictures appear in this space ever since my N95 die on me .
so so so SAD !
im gonna get a digital camera soon . SOON !
and im gonna force boyf to be my first model . =D

talk bout boyf , TSK !
he made me so pissed that ii actually lied to him,
telling him someth that he probably will feel sad about , ii guess.
hopefully he know that wad i've said wasnt true ..

on a happier note :
im going for k session to celebrate xian korkor's 21st birthday this coming sat.
gonna give him an ATAS + unforgettable one. WEETS !
budd im so broke. pay's only coming in on Monday .
hopefully boyf will be kind enuf to be my sponsorship for that day .
ii actually hope that he'll be there ,
due to some circumstances , ii know he wont.
LALALAS ~~

gotta get my ass back to work .
before anyone find out im actually blogging. LOL .

如果乎远乎近的洒脱是你要的自由
那我宁愿回到一个人生活
如果乎冷乎热的温柔是你的借口
那我宁愿对你从没认真过

labels : ii hate it when they judge, my love, for you .

its just another day ...

2010-04-21T14:43:00.003+08:00

Gym and Swimming last night was good,
probably those company plays a part.
Not much of th aching actually, just a lil .

Im not feeling good.
Insomnia !!!!!!!
weird dream(s) hunting me every night .
th same bitch . th same fear .

Im bloody tired !
I feel like drinking tonight !

its seems like you dunn understand ,
or maybe cant be bothered .
sometimes ii really wonder ...
how can someone be so insensitive. ?
No , then again, its not.
you know and you dunno at times .
you're like ever changing ,
making me a lil LOST.
tsk tsk !

labels : or, somehow, ii actually need you tonight . =(

its all bout you.

2010-04-20T16:37:00.002+08:00

Hey peeps ! blogskin changed ! how iszit ?
actually its a change of everyth.
previously were all bout those lovely and sweet skins.
so, tot of changing into a "yo-yo" kinda feeling. LOL .

well, budd ii guess entries will still be th same.
'cos its all inspiredd by boyf.

i'll keep this entry short.
'cos i've still got work to do .
boyf's sweet enuf to come here to pass me my swimming suit.
YES ! im going to th Gym and a swim after work, TODAY !
no more, tomorrow or next week . hahas !

ii always believe that a good boyf will allow you to go on diet and still bring you to have sumptous meals. and that's mine. =D

labels : 10 more days x3s

those unspoken`-

2010-04-07T17:14:00.003+08:00

I've got tons and tons of secrets.
mine , and not mine .
some are NOTHING .
some are BIG issues ,
to th extend of ppl ~~breaking up ; severe ties~~ .
tell me about it .

lots of FACTS that I do not want to face ,
I hid it under my skin .
When you exposed and tear thru that layer and layer of skin,
you'd see me as cold-blooded ,
Someone you would not want to know at all .
you'd also see me as th one and only angel ,
Someone you yearn for all these while .
and even sacrifice 10 years of your life for it .

I'm tired of hiding ,
tired of putting a strong front ,
tired for not being myself .

Then again , to me ,
th beauty of lies is not to hurt anyone ,
regardless of th person you love / loved OR
person you love(d), love(d)

labels : s(he) be(lie)ved

I've lost it .

2010-03-29T16:21:00.003+08:00

I'm sorry. true enuf that you dun deserve such treatment.
I didnt do/say it on purpose, I wasnt conscious.
I didnt know you actually care that much,
and I always take those lil stuffs for granted.
It hurts to know that I'm actually hurting you.
I wanted to give up so much,
bud it hurts more.

Baby, please tell me how to heal that wound that I've caused.

I never want us to end up like this .
I've forgotten my principles, especially towards you.
I need a good cry now.
With you telling me that everything's gonna be alright.

There's once a story ...
While a man was polishing his new car,
his 4 years old son picked up a stone
and scratched lines on th side of th car.
In anger, th man took th child's hand and hit it many times,
not realising he was actually using a wrench.

At th hospital, th child lost all his fingers due to multiple fractures.
When th child saw his father,
with painful eyes he asked, "Dad, when will my fingers grow back?"
Th man was so hurt and speechless.
He went back to his car and kicked it alot of times.

Devastated by his own actions ..
Sitting in front of that car, he looked at th scratches,
"LOVE YOU DAD." was what th child had written.

& th next day, that man committed suicide.
(thou I feel that he doesnt have to. 'cos th child gonna grow up father-less)

Anger and Love have no limits.
Choose th Latter to have a beautiful, lovely life .
Always remember that :
Things are to be Used and people are to be Loved.

Watch your thoughts, they become words.
Watch your words, they become actions.
Watch your actions, they become habits.
Watch your habits, they become character.
Watch your character, it becomes your destiny.

labels : ilu (too) .

and so wat if ive got an fcuked up attitude ?

2010-03-24T13:49:00.005+08:00

Look, ii dun need anybody to tell me i've got a super bad temper.
ii know it myself.
and den ? so what ?
i'll get super pissed when ppl go back on their words.
'cos im an easily contented person.
Yet, you still got th ability to make such person pissed.
WELL DONE !
some frds are saying im getting more and more cold-blooded.
and some say, im still th same, dumb !
my filtering system is doing me good.
‘cos im only hearing wad ii see.
p/s : dun ever try me, especially when im having my PMS .
labels : 这该死的爱情

2010-03-22T13:38:00.004+08:00

back from my 3 days 2 nights stay-out. weets.
nothing interesting or special. just away from home, closer to boyf, is enuf.
drinking session with usual, mj-ing til ~~late night~~early morning. ultimate shiock-ness.
especially when im th only one winning. boo th Guys ! LOL .
somethingg happy ii wanna share.
I got an letter from ITE, asking me to collect some Good Progress Award. WOW !
tell me about it. pontan like nobody business during that two years.
remember ii told you guys about th un-expected-good GPA I've got and I chose to give up another 3 years of Poytechnic. ?
Now they're giving me some Edusave or Bursary to further my studies.
wondering between Business Management, Marketing and Human Resource . HowHOwHOW ?
can somebody like give me some advices ?
Okay, ii should seek for Boyf's assistance.
Hopefully he wont say someth like, hmmm . up to you lahhs. (roars)
Wifey will be joining me to catch ka ka in a few more days' time.
so so so excitedd. never feel this excited when ii know im gonna see her in school in th past. still figuring out wad's th difference. LOL .
5 to 7 days to pay day. ii cant wait! im broke, like hell .
I NEED MONEY ! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ~
&&& 8 + 30 days to a year.
this issue had been twirling in my head.
wad should we do. ? hmmm ..
yessah ! second LoveGetty. boyf's gonna zao bo lang liaos. he just dun like it. LOL . and for all ii care. i'm gonna add one more to our collection . lalalas ~
and of cos more to come in every half a year comes. awwww ~~
alright ! gotta get my hands back to work .
i'll see you guys around.
p/s , no pictures. =(
labels : im cant even compare to that stupid bolster , huh ?

weekends, again ! =D

2010-03-12T14:08:00.003+08:00

Its my Girls' night today, budd not late night.
decided to go for a swim tmr morning.
hopefully i'll be able to wake up early in th morning.
Ubi next for my driving thingy .
meeting boyf after that then to M'sia ! *yay*
i'll be updating when ii come back .
hopefully have photos ! *roars*
labels : ii hope it will be th same after years .

2010-03-10T18:53:00.003+08:00

successfully talk it out for Saturday's issue.
and ii need some peace, after this.
still in office. with nobody looking.
i'm not going ~~dating~~ tonight. 'cos boyf's tired. tsk tsk !
went to Downtown for Movie, Being Human, with Boyf and Mr.A.H . lalalas ~
rate : 3.5 stars for that movie.
thou it teaches some manners and some important stuffs that teenagers ought to learn, budd ii just feel that th effect is not there. (towards th end part)
Bud, as usual , th laughing part is superb !
catch that movie, with you bringing your brain, together with your heart.
alright ! gonna have some chilling session with peeps later on .
i'll see you guys around.
labels : ii know that you knew.

summarise entry .

2010-03-08T12:40:00.003+08:00

Alright ! i'll get my blogskin done asap , stop nagging !
CNY's over , for good. cos boyf's back.
sway sway year for gambling, lost all my ang bao money ! how sad .
work work and work . at least not so bad here.
time passes fast enuf, a bit too fast .
Random , pardon me (lahhs)
Dylan.T's birthday as well as Ms.Tay's , had fun, as usual .
Drinking with clicks here and there during CNY.
Seesha with th lil ones. (oh, that's when boyf's back.)

Problems many many arhhs ! (quoted from boyf)
YESYESYES ! Problems, financial wise. at home.
and gradually affecting me as well. *pissed*
that explains why driving lesson had stopped for me,
Dancing and travelling plans got postponed. *freaking pissed*

its March alr. that's why ii say time's passing too fast.
so looking forward to April , end of April .
(not becos Serene.C's birthday & Labour Day's in May lahhs)
cos it marks a meaningful day for Boyf&ii . (L)

Training's on on this coming Sat, I dun care .
cos I want to go Malaysia with Boyf no matter wad.
I'm giving myself a break from Work, House, and those stupid issues which doesnt concern me !
Dun talk bout responsibilities or waad shit to me.
Tell me bout it when Someone need th whole family to clean his ass !
Thus, I ~~need~~ DESERVE a break.
I'm not young , bud i'm not that old to be handling all these at a time. OKAY ?!

&& ii promised not to leave this blog rotting again. =D

labels : Touched by th fact that you're mine.

gimme a break !

2010-02-14T13:34:00.000+08:00

ii know its rotting .
gimme some time,
i'll be back soon.
Happy New Year, my friends !
labels : dun forget me !

just a short one.

2010-01-01T11:56:00.004+08:00

taggs to :-
Ford : LOL . you wanna tagg everyday also can lahhs. budd tagg sensibly okay ? =D
Wifey : ya lors . we've done our best already lahhs. hack care ! my ah bai korkor like jiu hao lahhs. alibaba ! <3s
Charmaine : alright . i'll add when im online.
Xiiaogary : Happy New Year , dii !
kaimeng : which kaimeng ? LOL .
psb : Geylang road - Da Chang Jing. (:
Baobao : com's down lahhs! LOL . i'll try to update asap? <3>

Happy 2010 to everyone. hope you guys enjoy your day yeah ?
andd wish me luck for year 2010.
cos im gonna strive for everyth ii wann .

im not gonna talk bout boyfrd today. cos he made me angry early in th morning ! roar ~
[nee keu sing sum kun tee row young yoo dui gun] =D

labels : new year , new beginning ?

ANGRY !

2009-12-27T13:36:00.003+08:00

Com's down .
hopefully i'll be free to update using boyf's lappy.
provided he's not playing WOW . ROAR !
after 18years and 4 months of my life ~~wasted~~,
in th year of 2010 ;
365 + 1/4 days ,
ii have got all my time with only, you .
.
.
till year 2012 , where th world ends.
if not,
.
.
.
.
.
till th day we bid goodbye to this world.
labels : a new year , a new beggining .

finally ~

2009-12-11T17:39:00.000+08:00

~~Gucci , LV , Burberry , AgnesB~~ .
Though ii love them .
&& long to own them (when ii can afford to)
BUDD ! before ii get my LV bag for my 21st birthday ,
I'll get my Chanel sunglass , which ii accidentally spoil it like a year ago.
or my Chanel perfume , which ii finish like 2 years back. LOL .
thou peeps aroundd me always prefer LV, which ii dunno why.
For all ii care, ii just love Chanel . (not refering to Jev's precious) !
.
.
.
andd i'll have my 5cs ,
probably richer than Boyf, in th future.
I'll name my daughter(s)
- Coco & Chanel [2]
- ii have ~~Credit~~ Ez-link Card [3]
- Car (sounds th same as Kar ,Legs) [4]
- and ii wear Contacts , everyday ! [5]

dun mindd me, i'm just freaking bored .
i'm done with my nonsense as well as self-consolation .
my point is : you can always be richer than th rich . =D

off to meet my clicks for fun , soon .
I'll try to feed you guys with tons and tons of pictures.
Have a nice weekend everybody .!

not forgetting to tell HoneyPie : iiloveuu ,
&& probably gonna miss you for another night.

labels : oh oh oh . Be Happy !

I'm Yours .

2009-12-10T22:49:00.007+08:00

self declared "Single" status from Monday to Thursday.
LOL . okay, look !
I'm not trying to be sacastic here .
I 'm just blogging about it for fun . *yawns*
ii know Boyfriend's busy with work .
He's busy with potions . (LOL!)
alright ! i've nothing to talk bout him today.
See you on Sat, Honey !
& enjoy yourself tmr ehs ?
im not calling you . BLEAHS ! (L)

went for majong on tues and wed night after work .
decided to come home for dinner tonight .
i'm bloody tiredd , VERY !
andd i'll have a long ~~day~~&night with my clicks tmr .
WEETS ! im super duper wuper excitedd lahhs .
its been so long ii see Ron,
th one who's willing to hear my nonsense , complaints ,
&& always lending me a shoulder when i'm breaking down . (during sec sch)
Its been sooooooo longg~ (again!)
i'm gonna enjoy myself tmr , ii swear. =D

To PPHT : always standing strong no matter wadd had happen / happening . Thou we're not good at words. budd, we never fail to be there for one another , that's enuf . I love you , sist. =D

To Joe Koh : TAKE CARE DUDE ! looking forward to see you again ! =D

ii miss this Magician here . awww ~

label : Feelings deep within , hearts it .

pics that are not updated !

2009-12-10T22:19:00.006+08:00

Monday's steamboat !

Friday , with xian korkor & PPHT sist at Sengkang (:

labels : BJW's lady.

cont` ...

2009-12-10T21:05:00.005+08:00

alright , at least im a bit more free for my promised post .
sakae sushi on th 7th month .
Boyfriend know i'm craving for Sashimi since God-knows-when .
came to pick me up after work , though its a monday . For all we care!
Bugis for dinner. den home ,

th best part was at th cashier counter.
I seriously laugh damn hard when we start to come up ideas of disturbing him. (th cashier)
had a puff after meal, as usual .
Boyfriend knows me a bit too well,
he reminded me that we have got to be home early. *dang!*
ii dragged me feet back to th car then, home. ROAR !

BUT ! i'll be having my * "shopping" ?
hopefully , soon ? for Christmas, at least . ?
*terms and coditions apply . (faints!)

labels : more laughter = healthy r/s

as promised to Guan ! (:

2009-12-08T23:50:00.000+08:00

Our Mr Guan here , looking for a girlfriend.

From my very (honest) point of view ,
He's too skinny .
Eyes too small . (to me, ii mean)
Helpful . (to help me find songs)
Hardworking . (on finding map-hack , cheats etc etc) hahas .
alright alright ! why not ii tell you th requirement.?

- not too "weight-able" (pls!)
ii dun wanna see him getting bruises . ha !
- must be cheerful . (cos he need somebody to throw nonsense at him when he's feeling down)
- must be able to tolerate his enthu of gaming .
- know how to play majong ! (for my convenience) haha !

okay , above all are second priority .
Most importantly,
- Able to appreciate Music.
- Love and Know how to sing . (for OUR convenience) hahaha !

Interested ?
NONONO! I wont leave his hp number .
e-mail us at sylvia.yaya@hotmail.com / kimguan1989@hotmail.com

& Lastly , proudly present our Frog of this month ~

okay, LOOK! we dun need Ru Hua in our group . Have some self esteem alright ?
He's a cute-looking guy after all .
labels : Frog + Princess = Prince. LMAO !

Mr Bai Potter =D

2009-12-08T23:46:00.003+08:00

this weekend was th worst ever since Boyfriend and ii got tgt....

ARGH ! ii dun like it ! (BOOOOOOO~)
***skipskipskip!

went to do my nails after ii knock off on Friday .
ii love it lehs . *blink blink*
with a base of pearl + silver.
middle - silver glitter
tip - blend with th glitter den grey last to black .
(its all those shimmering kind) weets !
and Kat chose a colour that i've never tried before for my toes .
ii think its violet, which makes my skin look fairer. LOL .
yet to try their new colour .
they have a series of matt colour .
YES! MATT ! sounds cool right ?
wahahas. probably you guys wanna go give it a try.
th shop named Infinity , its located at People's park centre #01-21 .
they have got reasonable pricing too. (:

i'll be going back for Christmas !
andd Baby promised to go with me ! (:

met up with xian.korkor after that.
ride to Sengkang for PPHT .
talk cock, sing song , ~~play majong~~ cup noodle ~
hahas. th last was for me .
'cos ii didnt have dinner before my nails session. ROAR !
& HSH at 2am. ? (:

***skipskipskip! told you ii hate this weekend . (lahhs!)

met up with PPHT again yesterday .
for steamboat session, Da Chang Jing .
and here goes th .. WU TA NA WU TA NA~~
reminds me of th sch days , whr we irritate classmates with this . LOL .

Boon, Jerald, Fifi joined in as well .
Chilled at Cabana after dinner .
Jerald got sabo by us . Damn funny .!
(its been so long ~) - Quoted from PPHT 's fav line that night .
HSH at almost 1am .
drop a msg to Love and knock out ,
ignoring mum who's trying to disturb me . LOL .
& she even scare me this morning by saying , " mei , 8am liaos.! "
ii jumped, at least, clever enuf to check time .
its only 2 mins to 7am .
ii nearly went. NB~
budd ii just went back to catch half an hour more of slp .

random : Awaiting for our tops , hopefully before Christmas ?
hohoho~ Baby's knw what i'm thinking already . (:

most random : ii force Boyfriend to look at me during commercial time .
'cos ii feel that he's spending too much time on th monitor and television .
( ii call them tou kua) cos its all square sqaure derr. *faints*
so, ladies ! if you think your guy's neglecting you .
sit infront of him , block all his view and let him look at you , only.
you'll feel damn shiock ! LOL !

ii wanna watch movies !
lots and lots of them. BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII ~ ~ ~

something pop out over th weekend .
I forgot whr ii see it or heard it from . :-
Dun let doubts lose th magic of Love .
'cos you wont be able to meet someone everyday , who has th magic to let you fall in Love.

and so , ii decided to stick to my Magician , Love.

labels : No fighting ; no fighting .
p/s : pictures will be update. next time . lazy lahhs ! (:

love ;; lovedd

2009-12-05T11:30:00.002+08:00

ii wish wad they said will never happen
im tiredd , drained .
retreating was nv meant for me .
ii triedd so hard .. and even harder than ii tot .
budd still , love have never found its way to me .
ii've lost it.
how sad ...
labels : iwishitwasntyou .

2009-12-03T15:41:00.003+08:00

okay.. i'm not suppose to be here now.
'cos i've tons of things to do .
budd im not feeling that good .
Car Prac wasnt that bad last night .
Talk bout that, Boyfriend actually forget about it ,
even thou ive been talking about it since last week .
feeling ~~very~~ bit disappointed .
I know he didnt mean to .
He's busy. . .

Tons of stuffs have been happening .
im ~~not very~~ sure we can make it .
WE , ii emphasize .
I seriously need QUALITY time with Boyfriend .
though ii shouldnt be saying this.
im not so much of a 24/7 girlfriend.
ii've never like that.
Boyfriend's not with me at times,
be it im talking or whatever .
He dun seems to be concentrating .
cept , playing game .
DAMN TH FUCKING PERSON WHO INVENT IT ! roar !

ii seriously dun wanna start on this issue .
im like starting to lose it.
&& you're starting to lose th balance as well .

labels : feel it double to be th one .

I'll update next week when im free .

apologies

2009-11-30T23:59:00.001+08:00

i'm damn bloody busy this week .

i'll be able to update only next week .

stay tune , peeps !

a lil review ...

my love ;;

Happy 7th month , honey !

labels : its all more than words .

ii need a million dollars !

2009-11-24T20:40:00.003+08:00

getting giddy easily.
ii need to start saving .
no! ii dun have ample to save .
ii need to spend wisely. ii need to be strong .
just a few more months .
bear with it ! ii know ii would be able to .
or rather , ii have to .
now, its not only th end of th month thingy,
is to plan which and which to pay upon getting pay.and end up ,
i've nv get to give mom allowance. ii feel bad, very.
ii hate spending th end of year like this .
i've nv been in this kinda state, this pathetic .
just treat it as im having super bad luck this year.
ii was thinking of holding up another PTJ .
budd ii dunn wanna lose out th real "Gold" in life, Time.
Time with Mom , all my precious friends and Boyfriend.
iim gonna buck up for year 2010 .
ii will get all th stuffs in my top wishlist before next year.
before th end of world in year 2012 !
label : CHARGE ~~ !

2009-11-18T22:45:00.003+08:00

ii wish that what i'm doing now is my interest.
ii wish that what i'm doing now gimme some motivation.
ii wish that ii could be more busy , (not with super boring stuffs of cos!) ,
just to keep my mind off from Boyfriend .
ii dun like it this way. ! ii simply hate it.
struggling whether to go for th kitty's lab or not..

ii feel like ...

shopping

mj-ing

singing

drinking

clubbing

holiday-ing !

labels : ii hate missing Boyfriend !

tag reply :

peggy - next will be on th 23rd ! hmmm, would love to go drinking with you lahs. budd this week a bit not free . hahas. i'll text you again ? ;loves.

Ford - very soon ! &&& im replying nowwww .. busy lahhs , dey !

dine - hahas. i'll help you look out , as promise ! (:

chris - thanks babe ! glad to see you smiling more already . especially with your guy around. take care too. =D

yingying - ya lors. bo bian . just meet at 8 lors. jiayous arhhs ! hahas. why th condom thingy will remind you of KY ?

updates !

2009-11-18T22:22:00.003+08:00

alright . ii knw its time to update.

tons and tons of stuffs, therefore i'll try to keep it as short as possible. (crossed-finger)

starting of th month, New and MsTay's wedd .

think ii gotta change her name to Selina Tay .

picture above, see what ii mean ?

Reach her house in th morning, and as usual , all th stupid stuff.

Th video of us "torturing" th groom , is on facebook . hahas.

Ending with buffet from Stamford , and they're living up with their name, serving nice and wide variety of dishes.

went home to pick up my dress for dinner, Boyfriend's home , then slp !

woke up in th evening , set off for Dinner and last all th way to late night .

and th rest of th week's normal until I failed BTT on Saturday ! Damn it !

went for Baby Trina 's first month at CCK , for continuous two days.

Met up with Brian's and click at BQ .

To chill , watch soccer , as usual, and celebrate Boyfriend's birthday with a cake.

Ended th tiring day after that .

In addition , I've got a awesome birthday countdown with Boyfriend before that. =D

Boyfriend's birthday falls on a Monday !

But I was on leave , ii think . Come to think again, I wasnt . hahas!

Knock off and went to look for Boyfriend,

met up with Joe and Guan , tgt with ZhenWei ,for dinner .

Perfect weather for steamboat that night . (:

Work ? as usual ! ZZZ !

until....Friday !

Supported Clarissa at th pub she's working at .

Boyfriend after dinner time ,

Chilled with Serene and friends at my so call fav pub. =D

Went down to 12 element one of th days cos zihui's celebration.

saw another friend again . LOL .

Anyway , th place have entended all th way to lvl 3 .

Not that cramp anymore.

People there that night were either GONE or GRUMPY ! hohoho~

Oh, and ii cant imagine ii actually talked to some PLK .

making me feel so disgusted !

Bathe with Dettol when I've got home .

th tot of touching th same deck of cards disgust me .

P/S : I really dislike girls whom dun treasure themselves , intentionally .!

I've ease th majong itch over th weekend !

Jev 's getting a bit too crazy when she's tired !

ii really gotta admit this .

2009-11-15T22:30:00.000+08:00

ii was in great pain .
its just like a stab in th heart.
feeling th pain ,
bleeding profusely ,
and fianlly , NUMB !
labels : ii find no reason .

lots of tots

2009-11-14T21:46:00.005+08:00

somethingg ii wanted to blog long ago.

a few questions asked ,
ii hestitaed ,
den stopped at th critical one .
ii wasnt afraid that th answer(s) is/are hurting .
'cos ii still wanna believe your "everythingg happens for a reason."
labels : thou ii knw im not .

ii feel like eating something

that would be able to cheer me up now

- 17049090

Dreams / Reality

2009-11-11T21:29:00.004+08:00

Churning out my resume last night was tough .
Realised that there wasnt any relevant point to fill them in, especially th column of "about myself" .
Feeling so lost ,
ever since mum stop me from taking up design, choreography or even th fashion thread as a job .
Th reasons she gave were reasonable, I gave in .
'cos I know what she wan was th best for me .
UNLESS , I can be a good one ,
to be like Alexander McQueen or Coco Chanel, standing at th tip top of th world ,
to be like Jimmy Paul or David Gan ,having all th magic in his hands ,
to be like Jillina, having th chance to stand on th stage that belongs to themselves, especially in London.
NO , I DOESNT BELONG TO ONE OF THEM .
I'd wished i wont regret .

Yes , I was typing resume , meaning , I'll be leaving SP .
its kinda sad isnt it ?
There's too many reason for me not to leave.
Mum will be losing her job anytime .
Dad's doing pretty well , but health deteriotating .
One doesnt knw how to appreciate parents' hard earned work just to bring us up .
One 's in deep shit .
Does anyone understands th feeling of being stuck in between dream and reality .
I GAVE UP , STRUGGLING .
I wont wan my kins to be suffering , be it now or in th future .

I feel like ~~crying ; shouting ; screming~~
singing ; dancing ; chilling ; majong-ing ; swimming ; eating ; outings !
to let myself off for a break from everythingg's on my mind .
P/s : with you .

labes : Dreams / Reality , Screw it !

ii dont wanna slp without you !

2009-11-11T00:28:00.002+08:00

Love is when you dont want to sleep ,
'cos reality is better than dream .

and so , boyfriend wont smack my head 'cos ii stayed up late and was almost late for work today.

P/s : I'll update tmr . its too late nowwwwwww.

labels : hearts you ; hearts me ; hearts it !

just updating!

2009-10-31T12:06:00.002+08:00

LOL . back!
just a short one. woke up quite early to settle my phone thingy, and boyfriend says th car rental thingy cock up. ROAR!
nvm, ii've settled!
initally , wanted to go back to slp, budd look for th car thingy til NOW! *yawns*
finally, saturday!
and so, im going out with boyfriend! weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeets!
and im going to cam-whore today .
'cos i've just realised, there's not much photo of boyfriend and ii. *ANGRY*
Mr Bai ; Beware~~ hohohoh!
will be going loads and loads of places today~ weets!
ii love weekends!
signing off ,,
STUPID SINGTEL!
quoted from RTHS 's blogg :-
labels : there's no expiry date in love. (:

its all worth it 'cos of you

2009-10-28T22:43:00.002+08:00

God never said life would be easy.

He just promised it would be worth it.

Looking thru all th post one by one ; word by word ,

ii feel myself so silly in th past.

now then ii realised loving a person, is not only wad you feel, wad you wan, or whatsoever.

Is wad you are when you're with him.

Lots of people wants to ride th limo with me ;

But what ii wann is

someone taking bus with me

when th limo breaks down .

labels : its you baby ; hearts it !

2009-10-27T23:34:00.000+08:00

alright! its open now.
a few friends called to ask why is my blogg private.
ii private it due to some error in my skin.
too tired to figure out last night, hahas!
guess this post wont be as long as th previous one.
caught some filming action this morning at my work place, th building itself.
I think I heard Jack Neo 's voice as th director.
Saw Mark Lee as well, we came to have direct eye contact.
I dun remember him so tall th last time when ii took picture with him, that was like when im 10 years old.
Probably he's wearing some higher shoes. LOL .
(some random pictures will be post tmr.)

Was telling mum that Boyfriend will be going US next year or th year after next.
She didnt gimme a straight, "NO!" this time when ii try to hint her that ii feel like going as well. lalalas~
we'll see how it goes lahhs. still a long way.
Budd, ii really feel like going on a holiday .
Even if you ask me to go Bali, like now ? I'm also willing to.
Anw that's one of th place in my list. =D

Few more days to pay-day .
FastFastFast ! I'm super broke! ROAR~

Told Boyfriend that ii feel like bringing mum, dad and aunt to Tiong Bahru for LorMee this Sat.
His attitude was slightly more positive this time. =p
Hopefully , will be able to cos its really time to do somethingg or even spend quality time with them before its too late. (choy choy!)
In addition , mum and aunt love LorMee. wahahas~

Oh, ii just got my new and first namecard today, not suppose to be so late, budd Vietnam office just got settle down with th new place , that explains.
Exchanged with collegues, and Im not giving to anyone until ii give it to Boyfriend. Hohoho~
and yes ! gave it to him almost th moment ii saw him just now.

Mission to accomplish this week :-
Get shoes and dress ready for MsTay's wedd.
Nails done.
Recover from my Ah Gua's voice. hahaha .
&& Study for BTT !
&&& Tell Boyfriend that he's loved. =D

Think ii should be going.
Promised to slp before 12 am.
Time check : 11.55 am
Bye folks, I see you guys ardd. ~

Boyfriend need massage. Bud Im not with him, TSK !

P/S : I've got a stupid budd meaningful question for Boyfriend.

Labels : Feelings deep within , hearts it, honey ! 48hours and 2mins

never enuf.

2009-10-26T23:01:00.012+08:00

weets! blogskin change, oh! dun wryy , ii didnt get dumped .
Some realised that i'll always change skin when ii fall out of love. BOO!
You guys knw ii have got alot of things to share huh ?
smart smart.!
Tell me wad's th worse thing you've met so far, on your birthday ?
got dumped ?
got robbed ?
got too drunk to th entend of forgotten how you got home ?
Oh that's part of it.
Well , ii lost my voice , towards th end of that night and ii sounds like a ah gua now . Fxxx !
Too sexy to even sing .
Tsk ! Boyfriend laughed at me somemore! BAD !

Alright, whr did ii stop last post ?
did nothing much interesting on tues to thurs !
cept for some random stuffs.

and collegues celebrated my birthday on Thursday!
ordered Canadian Pizza, 2for1 , for lunch.
Hawaiian , and Beef Pepperonni.
As well as , a box of cheese stick that th customer service recommended.
Budd it doesnt tase nice.
I still prefer KFC ! hahahas~
They got me a mirror, and schedule book , dated Oct2009 , all th way till March2011.
1&half year. How good ?
Especially its one of my fav. th black, white and red version, th Classic!
Cookie and Cream Cake in th evening . Whr ii forbid them to sing birthday song. LOL .
hohoho~ went down to Tam with Qin and got boyfriend's belt "holed" .
LOL . sounds so wrong.
Basically , its too loose than ii tot when ii bought it. Opps!
went to eat a lil and home.
wanted to bus home initially, budd Qin's korkor drive over and send me home den they head to east coast.
On th way back, mei made me l.m.a.o !
her knowledge of majong really sucks!
ii wonder who taught her that.
Yaya : Feel like playing majong .
Weiwei : hmmm , im not good at it lehs.
Yaya : Slowly learn lors. den ii start to test her , on th simplest of all .
Yaya : Girl , wad's Xiao San Yuan ?
Weiwei : I know , th one round round wan ?
Yaya : *think* , ( oh ! she's talking about th tong zi, laughs! ) Tong zi ?
Weiwei : Ya ! *Faints*
and Samuel starts to laugh as well .
Weiwei : why you all laughing ?
Yaya : No lahhs, almost there, 3 yi tong , pong = Xiao San Yuan .
And no doubt, she really believe .
Then Samuel and I start to burst into laughter.
No wonder, she's my meimei. LOL .
I guess gotta train her already , though im not very good at it lahhs.
But at least, ii wont get cheated . =p
Boyfriend did somethingg which i'd least expect .
Th one and only birthday song i've got, and ever want to rmb this year.

Went to work as usual on Friday morning, replying all th birthday msges i've got thruout th night.
YES! Miss PPHT , You're th first one in th msg list. (:
and thanks to everyone, regardless with or without msg.
Just by remembering 23oct 's my birthday is enuf. LOL . !
Alright, knock off at 1pm, met up with meimei , bak kut teh for lunch, cabb to Ubi Driving Centre to enroll into sch.
Cabbed back home 'cos meimei urgently need to pee . LOL .
went to have shower after reformatting timedrive for boyfriend.
got changed while meimei's showering.
I swear ii almost messed up my whole closet. LOL .
didi came over at aroundd 5 plus, ii think .
As usual, Im late again.
Im supposed to be meeting ZhenWei at 7pm.
And I came out at 7.05pm . HOHOHO ~
Mei and ah di were nagging at me , saying ii take such a long time to get prepare.
Seriously, ii have no fcuking idea how cann ii take 3 hours to get ready. LOL .
Met up with th 11 people , most of them are th usual majong clicks.
So , not feeling awkward even though boyfriend's not there.
Partly, im sociable.
*faints* (skip th self-praising part)
Boyfriend and Guan pop out from dunno whr. =.=
dinner at Golden Cafe, which cost 200 over bucks which ii dun feel its worth it.
'Cos th food's not extremely delicious. (BOO~!)
While ZhenWei and ii were discussing which pub to go, boyfriend didnt give us a choice.
Asking me to bring them to 9bar, feeling a bit weird, and he still staying cool.
Tsk, irritated.
Acted as th tourguide , show them th way there and settled down.

As usual, Sing, Pool, Drink, Games, Cards, and Acting stupid.

oh, that's for me.
AND II WON TH BIRTHDAY BOY THAT NIGHT IN POOL~~ lalalalas~~
zw cut his cake bought by his clicks, and start th smashing cake session.
Well, th first person in my life who dare to smash cake on meon my face, BZW!
went to wash up and cut another cake , by boyfriend .
Its pretty obvious that th one coated with chocolate will never be mine.
friends starting to come one by one, filling up 4 tables in th end.
I saw 3 martels, a towel and a jar that night.
Total madness!
I got wasted at aroundd 1 plus, and was sent home .
Bud at least this is th first time boyfriend didnt see me crying when im tipsy.
Thus, it doesnt irritate him that much .
boyfriend sent me all th way to th doorstep.
still manage to take a quick shower though ii have no idea wad im doing already .
and K.O after which .
Mum told me ii was singing birthday song to myself in th shower with th ah gua voice.
Boyfriend says ii spurtted nonsense when walking to th car.
Whatever ~ ! Im just too happy. =p
Didnt have much of th hangover th next day , budd ZW did. hahahs.
cabbed over to Boyfriend's place , rest and went to chalet.

Jolene's at Coasta , Jacq's and Jas's at Downtown .

Walking to and fro . tirring eh!
Went to Jacq 's chalet in th end, after DaJie left around 11 plus.
Dun feel like staying there for long cos of some reason. lalalas~
Before that, brought Boyfriend to E-hub , cos think he only went to th k-box there, once.
Budd was too late, shops are all closed, cept for those entertainment.
Showed him th bigg bigg arcade.
Had a few games, my fav, Datona.
Nearly win him for th beginner one lahhs. TSK !
Den ii tried th Advanced one, DAMN IT!
ii cant even see th ass of his car.
Saw Jacq's daddy playing th sweet sweet game , with th last bar, he let his seat to me.
Which idiot wont continue ?

Use up 6 bucks to get my new kiki , as well as a big big bag of candies !
And yes! She got a new name as well . (:
Happily went over to Jacq's chalet, have some games , alcohol again. den home.
Slept at 5 plus 6 ? GOD!
woke up at 11 plus 12.

Random : Boyfriend and i got somethingg in common for roti prata, which we just found out.
went to shower and out for AjiSan at 2. too tiredd to walk around.
went back and rest again .
had dinner and boyfriend drives me home.

Random-ness 1 : Received a call last night , feel damn shitty. and ii feel like singing this ..
Oh fuck friend fuck friend , go away ~ oh goooo away ~ oh stayyyy away, from me ~~ hohoho~
im still a bit high now. whatever!

Random-ness 2 : Just realised boyfriendd and ii didnt leave each other over th weekend. not even a min . LOL . that explains why my weekend pass extremely fast, budd still worth th ~~five~~4 and half working days.

Random-ness 3 : 4 more days to 6th month-sary,
6 more days to MsTay's wedd day. (Dress not settled yet)
14 more days to Boyfriend's birthday . *stressed*

Random-ness 4 : Reason why pics are so little. 'Cos ii realised i've put on weight.
Face getting rounder and more more more fats! ROAR!
and boyfriend agree on letting me to go on diet , budd not without food.
* Terms and Conditions apply * LOL .
Feel so wad lahhs. Always tot that ii wont put on weight derr.
Mum says ii "ho jak ho kun" .
Too tiredd for hulla-hoop after work. Supper with Boyfriend. wahahas.
That's explains. Most importantly, ii stop dancing 'cos of injuries, and somethingg happen in sec sch made me lose chances to continue.
Gradually, losing th stage that once belong to me...WAH! EMO!!~~ hahahas. i'll get back , ii swear !

alright! think that's enuf. Catch me around.! =D

labels :
you're just like a drug ;
making me high ,
addictive,
shivers without you,
never enuf !

P/S (twilight inspired) :
I love Boyfriend ; Boyfriend loves me ; ii know .

2009-10-19T22:31:00.004+08:00

met NJY on saturday at ps. and im late, as usual. (:
Fish market for late lunch and th country mushroom is nice. *thumbs up*

proceed to vivo , dinner, coffee bean to slack, cam-whoring, den proceed to powerhouse.!

andd somebody stepped on foot again, damn it. there's a girl, probably lesbian? took my number while we're dancing not on th dance floor, budd on th platform. LOL.

boyfriend came over to fetch me at aroundd 2 plus 3 back home.

met up with boyfriend on th following day. catch up a bit den home , again. sighh~

time's never enuf for me when im with you.

pls tell me iszit a good sign or bad sign..?

i'll update more tmr or th day after.

im feeling damn restless, unwell, mentally tired, NOW !

labels : no longer feel th importance of myself.

pre celebration

2009-10-19T21:45:00.009+08:00

back . pre celebration with my sis, on friday, 16th october.
went to clarke quay, A971 , a japanese cuisine for dinner.
cam-whoring, as usual while resting.

th total bill. LOL . consider quite reasonable already lo. LOL .

boat quay next, Speed Legend. (:

my dajie, erjie . weets!

Thanks for DineDaJie, Nick, JoleneErJie, Ivan, Yenny, Apple and Ben for my celebration. hahas.

Fun and laughter, budd not enuf to get me drunk. hahas.

somethingg that made me almost tear that night.

labels : speechless.

gimme no chance to rely on

2009-10-15T23:10:00.005+08:00

alright. im here , folks!
a quick update alright?
and pls bear with th emo-ness in this entry.
went east coast with jacq and kat to bedok for dinner after work.
proceed to east coast to chill at cabana. its still nice as ever.
home for dinner on tuesday, too tiring.
wed, durian session with collegues ,
follwed by bedok prata nearby my house with shiwei,
a guy who made my primary sch days ... fun? meaningful? yeah. ha!
met up with jacq just now, walked around tam to get some errands done.
bought few stuffs. i'll update pics next time.
cos, yes! im not in that kinda mood, now !
from all th above, you knw that boyfriend's missing from mon to thurs.
and ya, most probably, this coming weekend as well.
ii know ii shouldnt be complaining.
hopefully, this will be th last.
GIMME NO CHANCE TO RELY ON, PLEASE!
( sigh sigh sigh~ )
yes, ii gotta get used to it ; be independent ; be whatever you can think of ;
*loss for words*
and no, whinning ; complaints ; simply, accept it!
accept that this is NOTHING!
well , im not in th right condition to blogg anymore.
labels : still, ii wanna be myself , th one whom you always ~~love~~

2009-10-10T19:27:00.004+08:00

lalalas~ boredd die me lahhs.
im super hungry, again.
drop by to update a bit bit.
boyfriend came to fetch me after work last night.
met up with Ms Tay and gang at Vivo, Serenity.
some spanish restaurant?
Food there doesnt taste good to me , as well as boyfriend.
Thus, didnt eat much. LOL .
off to Boiler Room, though ii dun like there lahhs.
its always so squeezy and th DJ(s) over there is forever playing some ah bu neh neh songs. hahas!
and ya, there's a ah pek in our group super ti-ko.
feel like slapping him in th face.
Was left with no choice den went over to entertain him.
Shant elaborate much.
Tsk! Irritated!
Budd besides th ah pek, at least boyfriend was there to keep me cool . (:
He just never fail to keep me on th right track.
home at aroundd 2 , after Ms Tay was too tipsy to continue.
Mission completed! cos we manage to got her drunk, too drunk! LOL.
weekend, as usual.
budd feeling kinda sad as boyfriend will be quite busy with his new job after this week ?
hopefully after next week, or next next week ... ...
budd he promised he'll try not to get his weekend burn, for me ? (:

oh. that Missy over there!
you underestimated me huh ?
though ii told boyfriend after wad you said, he just laugh off and didnt say anythingg about it , at all .
budd ii knw wad he meant.
Regardless you're a bitch, or son-of-a-bitch, for all ii care~
stop trying so hard to spoil my r/s . its useless.
unless ii see it with my own eyes.
even if ii got th chance to. im th one who will be hurt, NOT YOU!
so, mind your own business.
if you really wann to prove me wrong, why didnt you take a pic at that point of time ?
if you got th pic, ii dun mind you post it on th net and tell everybody my sweetest boyfriend ever cheated on me!
do ii make myself clear now?
well, wad ii've said all above doesnt mean ii hate you or somethingg.
maybe you're just being kind?
ii tot over th night , and came up with some possibility why you would say that.
1) you saw th wrong person ?
2) as wad boyfriend says, you're dislike me for some reason.
and last possibility, which is th worst one.
you were cheated once before and you think that every guy are like that.
ii guess you need to consult a doctor if is that so.

alright! im done with my complaints!
will be meeting up with dine and group next week. weets!
im signing off ~
enjoy your weekend , Earthlings!
labels : im all about you. and you know it. (:

2009-10-05T20:44:00.002+08:00

Dunno why am ii feeling so resless today.
Probably another Minday Blue.
Or perhaps, I'm not feeling that well.
Occasionally, i'll find work getting meaningless, which is not a good thing.
Especially for people like me, bud still, life still goes on.
Time and Money is never enuf.
Who doesnt want to lead a life whr you dun have to worry bout , MONEY!
Many want to work as and when they like, having unlimited flow of cash,buying dozen of stuffs that you need and want, without worrying how are you going to settle your next meal.
one, out of million?
Having an idea of starting a sideline, that was discussed between cheryl, sasa and ii that night.
Hopefully we'll be able to put words into action, soon.
we wanna be th one out of million! oh, is three out of million.! hohohoho~
*smack* stop th day-dreaming.~
I'll be contented if ii wouldnt have to keep worrying about my expenses for every last week of th month.
Having a lil savings at th end would be even better. (:
alright! stop th money thingy. Frustrating issue.!

Fifth month with boyfriend was short, simple, sweet.
Work ; Dinner ; met up with cheryl and sasa for a chat while boyfriend proceed to friend's chalet.
Home at 11 plus ; had shower and do some reading.
Fortunately, boyfriend's home early to save my beauty slp.
Was worried he'll fall aslp or whatever while driving home.
For th journey home from Pasir Ris is way too far, literally from one end to another.
Work as usual on Thursday. I cant remember a thing i've done.
Knock off almost on time on Friday, cos ii cant stand it any longer.
Having an headache around noon time , was hoping boyfriend to fetch me on time.
Boyfriend was caught in th stupid jam, so , ii trained to Plaza Singapura.
Listening to some music , hoping not to feel too tense up when meeting boyfriend.
While ii was on th way walking to th mall, passing by th bus-stop, facing th main road, i'm stopped by a loud scream.
Yes, I know its loud, cos my music was on max volume.
A feeder bus, no : 139 . Car plate of SBS208 x. Ran over a lady.
As a typical Singaporean, in addition of not in a rush of time. (:
I squeezed into th crowd, not forgetting im timid to look at a pool of blood, i hid behind an auntie.
Assuring that th lady is not dead, I straightened my back. LOL .
Few people pull her out from th road, under th bus. OMG!
Fortunately, she's only suffering from some bruises and ankle sprained.
Called boyfriend , told him wad's happening here and proceed to th mall for some shopping.
Bought some cosmetics , facial masks, including for boyfriend from Sasa and more more more.
Seats for movie were almost fully taken up after dinner, close to 9, if im not wrong.
boyfriend went down to th Laserflair fair , got some DVDs, for himself and me! (:
Off to Clarke quay to meet sasa and Cheryl up.
Car park were too full, still full after half an hour.
So, ii suggest to head home.
On th way home, I were talking non-stop about events for th following day.
Is either ~~he cant be bothered~~ , ~~concentrating on driving~~,~~too used to th how ii can talk non-stopwhen im too excited~~ ,or, too engrossed in th Andy Lau's concert.! Damn him.
Woke up , text boyfriend, not forgetting it was Mooncake festival that day, shower and get ready to start my our day.
Went to have my messy eyebrow plucked, Driving centre, (im late for th day anw, sad!) , ToaPayoh, to get boyfriend's slipper changed, fav Kway Cyup for lunch and off to town, ION.
Walked around and see Nothing! As what I told boyfriend that this new mall doesnt look like Singaporeans' paradise.
I still prefer, Cine , Hereen , HMV. hahahas, and not forgetting my fav, FarEast Plaza. BOO!
Soon, proceed to fetch th two lil ones, ah di and sasa , over to Qin's chalet.
Boyfriend went over to his friend's .
Getting along quite well with her Alibaba friends.
Most of them are friendly.
Partly cos i'm sociable. (:
Boyfriend came over at around 12 plus ?
went home, shower , and slp , like a log.! Seriously worn out after a day full of events.
OLD LIAOS OLD LIAOS!
woke up by boyfriend going to pee! roar!
went back to slp til 12.
had lunch, watched teebie, shower , off to JP with zw meeting his frds over there.
home at ard 6, still feeling tired.
nap a bit. dinner ; and boyfriend drive me home. den went on with his plans.
P.S / ii guess boyfriend will start shouting one day " Can you stop your kuku nonsense, for a min? " LOL .
ii cant stop disturbing boyfriend, worse still, im actually loving it!

P.S.S / browsing thru th msges last night makes me melt and fall for you all over again.
my crowned sweetest boyfriend ever never fail to make me smile, even after a fight.
labels : you make me shine like a star, hearts it!

2009-09-29T02:37:00.000+08:00

tell me im th stupidest of all .
drink ; drank ; drunk ; cry ; cried
but ii cant get to sleep still.
hahaha ~
IM A BLOODY FOOL!
labels : 0237H , damn it!

2009-09-28T21:53:00.001+08:00

work's tiring today. VERY!
time check : 2154 h
no appetite for dinner, decided to skip.
home after work, lie on th big queen size bed, jus like boyfriend's. shagg!

ii walked so slowly to prevent my tears to roll down accidentally. then, to realised its actually flowing inside.

th no answer call : was to tell you that i'll be your good girl today, wont be going out.
second call : was purely jus to disturb you, telling you im knocking off and will be heading home.

nothing's wrong.
im wrong, to always call at th wrong time.

trying to finish up th bottle of wine and have a good rest.
darlin' , pls reach home safely, for me. (:
labels : 我希望你会是地球上最后一个说不了解我的人
& ii miss darlin' badly.

2009-09-26T19:05:00.002+08:00

oh. im just too free at th moment. boyfriend's dota-ing! hahas. shant disturb him.
andd ii got a super BIG problem now. yes, RIGHT NOW!
im feeling super duper wuper HUNGRY~!
tsk. irritated. even mama and papa dun let me go hungry til this extend.
okay. ii shall talk some more to divert my attention.
k-session with sasa, weiwei on wed, besides fun, its still fun! i've never stop laughing with them. home quite early though. there'll be another coming up for my birthday celebration, soon. together with cheryl this time, hopefully. ~
ii guess it would be total madness that day. weets! im so looking forward to it lahhs.
met up with gary ah di, xian korkor for dinner, th Finger Licking Good always make my day, LOL. waited for baobao to knock off. home at aroundd 11.
as usual, saturday! tell me wad makes weekend complete without boyfriend? *grinning*
breakfast tmr with relatives before meeting boyfriend. kway chup for breakfast ~
tell me that papa loves me. hahas. think th world knows ii love that.
okay. gotta go, ii practically hear my stomach GROWLING~
labels : hearts it, baby!

2009-09-22T21:38:00.002+08:00

OMG! guess wad ?
miss yaya didnt wann to go out tonight just because ii feel like blogging.
cann anyone tell me wad's wrong with me ? probably just too tired from work and fun since last friday. and partly because there's some interesting show which ii dun wanna miss out. (:
longg weekend is th only time for me to rest , budd its never enuf .
cos th tot of boyfriendd, ii could just sacrifice my slp to catch a few more wink of him. awwww~~ ii know that sounds a bit mushy, or rather stupid. FOR ALL II CARE! BOO!~
alright , starting from my last update...
Power House on last wed, where ii decided to clubb all out. IT SUCKS!
some bitches acting like a bimbo~ and it soon agitate my nerves budd i've decided to stay cool. cos ii know if boyfriend were there, he would wan me to stay out of trouble.
they're so lucky that ii didnt drink much that night. BOO!
and there's a funny girl who stepped right into my foot in th dance floor.
ii was like, OUCH! it doesnt leave a blue black, budd a SKIN TEAR! another BOO!
went home after work on Thursday , cos ii knw ii need energy for th upcoming weekend. (:
dinner at boyfriend's place after work and left for movie later at night. that was th initial plan, haha! budd he sent me home after reaching .. what's that place?! (SHIT!)
forget it.
conclusion : no movie that attracts me, home sweet home~
went over to boyfriend's place for majong with zw's click.
okay~ ii sucks! budd ii still love it!
sunday, watch "My Lucky Star" DVD while boyfriend start to engross in DOTA, again.
off for a nap after watching for a hour or two or MORE! woke up to realise that we're so late for vin's birthday celebration. woke boyfriend up, prepare, and off we go.
th 2 BOOBOO! of th night.
1) ii nearly turn to th carpark after getting out of th lift, forgetting his parents drove to malaysia. turn around to realise he walk out to th main road. thus, ii "diao" myself and followed behind.
2) its either my night blindness getting worse or my foot is too small. it slip right thru th lil drainage th moment ii stepped down th pavement to get into th cab. th worse thing is, its th same foot which ii got stepped on wed night. (COMBO!)
boyfriend laughed as though there's no tomorrow. saying im super clumsy!
for all ii care, afterall he still gonna accept it. "diao" .
well, th moment we reached there, th situation is like , "WTF! and hahaha!"
WTF to th smashed cake on faces, walls and so on so forth.
HAHAHA to th jokers of his family.
overall, food's delicious! especially vin's ah ma's curry zap cai (curry,mixed,vege!) . ROFL!
more than half of th group went off for snooker and th rest,
including joe, guan, boyfriend and myself made our way to BQ while vin, accompanied by xuan, back home for a shower.
settled down in 7897. initially wanted to look for vin's frd budd bump into one of my secondary sch time clicks. okay~ th sound system sucks that night. so, went off after a few songs. shelly walked over and leave for raining. LOL. its th same anw..
reach home before 3, had a quick shower and slp. waking up at 10, knowing that its a public holiday, ii smiled stupidly to myself. hahas!
as usual, prepare, went out with parents and aunty, uncle for lunch at simpang bedok. sometimes , its just good that you spent some time with them, so that they wont nagg that much. especially th woman at home. uncle dropped me at th nearest station and off ii meet boyfriend, again. LOL! by th time ii reached there, his parents are already back from their trip. watched 4 shows , ii think, in a row.
nap a while, dinner and went out for Yoshinoya! tell me how to slim down?! budd th ____ bowl from Yoshinoya is my all time favourite lahhs.
walked aroundd and decided to head home. so we, oh! not me, budd boyfriendd drives slowly from town, passing thru th F1 racing track. knocking some general knowledge into my half empty brain, or rather, half full. LOL!
andd ii actually enjoy being that stupid at times. im turning into psychotic, ii guess.
home at 1015pm. watched ming zhong zhu ding, shower and off to bed, sadly. well, because i'll have to work th next day and wont be able to see boyfriend until Friday. time flies when you're having fun, how true ? crawl out of my bed ; yes, ii practically cccrrraaawwwlll ; and fall aslp again after shower when choosing for clothes. boyfriend just save my life by giving me a ring, randomly. cos he dun do that every morning. using my super fast speed to prepare everythingg and rush down for cousin's shun feng che.
and as usual. work work work. i've find it so meaningless already due to some issues. well, life still goes on. ii told boyfriend my aim for this week : finish ALL my P&L! ii dunno why, he just laughed upon hearing this. okay. gimme 5 mins again to get him out of my mindd.

got super pissed off after hearing some stuffs. im here trying to save your face, budd you're there trying to pull me down. F IT! oh, you should be glad that ii still bother to talk bout you. not trying to imply its somethingg you should celebrate about. alright, im gonna say it once and for all.
II HAD ENUF! ii can forgive, budd never forget. all those things that you guys say. yes, you're now classified with them. WELL DONE!
" we can jolly well live our life without you "
" we dun need you in our life "
" they're MY friends, not yours! "
this and that, for all ii care. Pls take note that ii dun treat friends like presents. a few of them DONT, as well.
im so so so sad to say, I'VE ~~got~~ had FCUKED FRIENDS!
okay. done with my ranting.
ii shant talk about wad happen last night with that old woman. ii shall listen to boyfriendd's advice , do wad i've always did.
ya ya ya! 5 mins' up again, ii know.
on a happier note,
- two more days to weekend again.
- 30th's next week.
- i'll be having fun on th upcoming event. (:
boyfriend, my wonderful magician who makes best love potion.
okay~ ii know i'm a bit affected by Harry Potter. LOL .
labels : his happily "angry" expression , hearts it!

2009-09-15T21:12:00.003+08:00

okayokay! ii wanna make use of this 45 mins to finish up this post before watchingg ming zhong zhu ding, on tv. Though ii finish that already lahhs.
How ii wish ii can really multi task. blog, change blogskin, upload songs for my blogg, watch teevie, paint my nails, do mask at a same time. LOL . ii must be really crazy.~
ii jus browse thru that ms tan's blogg and saw a part which makes me laugh til i drop.
Quoted from her blogg :-
Xiaobai:*getting rdy to chg song*
Xiaogugu:NONONONNONONONO*beats hand*
Xiaogugu:Miss tan also like this song you know! its xia yi ge tian liang leh!
Xiaobai:orhkay lor.
-------------------------
then the next song was "Wo Zhi Dao"
Me:SIA LAH I KNOW THIS SONG!
Xiaogugu:*laughs*
Me:eh,whats the name uh. ohohoh i know i know. *thinks* forget it, i forget liao.
Xiaobai:I know.
Me:Huh?
Xiaobai:I know , is the song name lah.
Me:OHHHHHH yahh.
xiaobai:*laughs* u like ur xiao gugu liddat
------------------------
that remind me of how we really laugh thru th day. Budd too many people like saying ms Tan andd ii getting more and more alike. as if ii can stop her from changing. LOL . and ii feel like asking them, be like me not good mehs?
pretty, cute, out-going, sociable, and blah blah blah. think ii gotta stop it. ii wanna vomit myself liaos. LOL .
budd another part which she says make me like " HUH? WTF ?! "
quoted from RTHS's blogg again :-
" its so cool xiaobai and xiaogugu are freaking close."
ii shall see how not close she would be with her boyfriend th next time. wahahas!
another random topic :
ii was telling boyfriend that ii suspect myself having mentally disorder soon. cos ii can be like damn happy this moment and super emo th next. jus take for example today.
i'm like working working working, den suddenly go blank and start to day dream. i shant go into details.
ii guess th problem lies on ... losing concentration. its either not enuf slp , or too many things on my mind. and th biggest problem is ... boyfriend!
he's a very good person for me to divert attention from everything, ii mean it, EVERYTHING!
well well well, enuf of him! ii should get him out of my mind for 5 minutes!
ii really feel like going out with ms Tan again lehs. probably after her PSLE lahhs. hopefully we gotta go Taiwan this year end. we shall psycho th adults .. weets!
ii think ii gotta really have to go and register for my basic theory lerr lahhs. irritating! tsk! like dragg for almost a year lerr siol.
hmmm .. haven been slpingg well these few days, how bad! ii cant even concentrate when slping. damn it! really have to save some energy for th upcoming long weekend. jus feel like spending some quality time with boyfriend.
arghhhhhhhhh, 5 minutes is up , ii guess. he pop up again~~ LOL .
gonna end here lerr lahhs. ming zhong zhu ding's starting.
oh ya! my super randomness last night during th conversation made baby stuck for a moment.
nights earthlings!
labels : smart ass! (:

babybaby~

2009-09-14T21:41:00.003+08:00

ii can jus simply findd 3 reasons why th both of them are my love.

One, they're Scorpio.

Two, they love Red.

Third, Strawberry is one of their favourite.

Lastly, they love lil , cute things. (like me?)

LOL . okay. ii know th last one is a bit lame lahhs. Budd ... lalalas~

labels : 让爱换个季节再开花结果

never again.

2009-09-13T21:25:00.002+08:00

ii forgot when was th last time ii got myself really that drunk.
ii forgot how many times ii puked, jus remembered ii was crying so bitterly.
ii really gotta admit it now.
I SUCKS AT PROTECTING MYSELF!
~~fuck~~ th "everything happens for a reason" .
~~will it be better if i've never stepped into your life.~~
hopefully not.
yet, if things are better that way, ii guess th last ii can ever do for you is to bringg everything back to th starting point. th point when we are not connected in any way.
perhaps ii gotta start paying more attention to everythingg than you.
FOCUS!!!!!
yesyesyes, ii still choose to keep them unspoken.
ii miss ~~th days~~ whr we really can say every and any thing honestly.
labels : th pain .

2009-09-10T22:28:00.002+08:00

your girl ; my love

have not been feeling good lately, or can ii say these few days.

its been so long since ii feel this way. th way that ii always hated.

just for that moment, ii tot whatever ii've done will jus go down th drain.

or maybe its already half gone, ii jus dun wish to knw.

for that very moment, ii jus feel like hiding in a corner and cry my heart out.

yes! its been years. ever since ii do that.

summoning my courage to say what's deep down.

prepared to face everything that comes. with or without you.

jus to let you knw me better. that's very risky though.

oh yes. that's th characteristic of a scorpio .

didnt wann to eleborate lahhs. nothing gonna helps.

ii jus wann you to remember wad makes my good bf.

labels : and you're th only one that knows it all.

2009-09-10T21:59:00.003+08:00

woohoo~ continue from last night. suddenly go abit emo, den stop. lalalas~
science centre trip with my girls last sat.

my precious ;; my girl.

and when charmaine start to go a bit crazy. she do silly things.

and so do ii . took these two shoots sneakily when baby's not looking. if not he'll start to say "something" again. LOL . (yes no? dun laugh!)

&&& somehow mimi and ii love this shoot, in a way, its natural lahhs. (:

labels : hearts it!

2009-09-09T22:28:00.003+08:00

there's s very random day whr we go marina , ii think , or plaza sing. ii really cant remember. walk pass this shop whr they holding a baby swimming competition. LOL . and this lil cutie here caught my attention. his smile is so lovely, isnt it ?

drinking session , including cam-whoring , of cos!

brother and ii . (:

ii will be meeting him up soon again.~

2009-09-09T20:46:00.012+08:00

OMFGOMFG! dine~~~ ii love you lahhs. really works lehs. LOL . happy like shit. and im gonna mass update !!

dine's chalet on 21.08.2009 .

th two siao char bor! LOL . (for photo taking purpose only lahhs. (:

and they went to buy groceries, after that went back to th chalet for monopoly game while waiting for cat and ii. (:

she's always that happy whenever she sees "them"

andd th moment ii stepped in ... got punished for "late". kns!

alright alright! i'll let th nonsense pictures do th talking!

star of th day : geraldine !

joker of th day : cat !

wahahas. thou its only a night, budd its full of fun and laughter! Thanks for making my tired day at work worth. (:

2009-09-06T19:38:00.003+08:00

oh fuck! th blogger is so irritating. tsk! cant post pics lehs. hopefully i'll be able to , soon.
well, im not letting my blogg die jus like that. so, you guys gotta bear with all th words words and more words. LOL . okay, ii knw im lame..
hmmm .. have been working, and meeting up with baby as long as we have got th time to. yesyesyes! alot of people have been texting me asking if im back to single. im so sad to say, im still attaached! hohoho~
work's still th same. tell me wat's new ? oh yes! there's somethingg new. cos im handling almost most of th export stuffs now, and th customers are getting super fucked up.! PISSED!
let's not talk about work lahhs.. th tot of it makes me feel so wrong!
hmmm . bud at least there's still time for me to relax a bit lahhs. just went for a drink after work at times. cos singing is a super good way to de-stressed myself. LOL .
... (recalling all th events) ...
and ya! dine's chalet was superb ! had too much fun to forget almost all th sorrows.? well, sometimes its good to jus have a small gathering with those peeps who really care and to really catch up with each other .
andd brought th two lil ms Tan to science centre yesterday. cos of some unexpected stuffs, wasnt able to bring them to anywhere they wanted to . im really feeling damn bad at that point of time. hopefully i'll be able to make it up to th both of them, especially that P6 ms tan! LOL. x3s !
budd still, ii gotta thanks baby for driving us aroundd even after a day of work. sometimes, ii jus feel so wrong.. like caught in between.. fortunately, he understands, me.

tags reply :
- weiwei : ii wont let it die jus like thaat derr lahhs. you wait and see! LOL .
- Anonymous'♥ : hahas. HI! thanks. (:
- dine : alrights ! i'll try it out one fine day. LOL . Thanks babe !
- Charmaine♥: hahas~ hope you enjoy yourself thou its all out of th initial plan.
- ♥RACHEL : girl, think you gotta invite me, cos its private. or its either ii have not check my mail box. LOL ! x3s
- BAOBAO : alrights! i'll try to link and re-linked everyone when th stupid blogger stop giving me problems! see ya aroundd !

something are jus beyond my control at times. let bygones be bygones. everybody deserve a second chance. budd ... yes! there's always a budd. its jus too late.

labels : th unconditionally love makes me a your better girl .

2009-08-26T21:38:00.001+08:00

blogger's down! cannt post pictures lehs. tsk! IRRITATING!
peeps, wait for a few more days alright ?
ii got alot to update lahhs! wait for me ehs?
labels : seeing you a few hours per week makes me feels that forever's not enuf

misses

2009-08-13T22:45:00.002+08:00

i've not seen boyfriend for 72 hours . ):
ii guess still have to bear for at least 18 hours.
rofl~
labels : misses.!

th mask...

2009-08-13T22:27:00.002+08:00

A conversation goes like this...

**** : I think I still know you better than your current bf.
yaya : Hahas. Why say so? Human changes know?
**** : Silly. Your taste in food and fashion may change, but never in the heart. I believe if I ever wanted to, it'll only take me a day to recover such information. =D
yaya : Hahas. Cool. I choose to keep my comments to myself
**** : Why? Tell me.
yaya : What why?
**** : Why you choose to keep your comments to yourself?
yaya : Cos I've never wanted people to know me ever since th day I shut my doors. Its really been years. (to think back)
**** : Even me?
yaya : Yeah. Including you.
**** : I'm surprised you actually think that it's working
yaya : Why not? I think it's working pretty well.
**** : Alright, if you wish to think that way, I'll play along and let you feel that I don't know you. You'll probably want me to prove what I said, but forget it. Lol.
yaya : I'm not. I'm jus trying to say that I dun even know myself at time. How sad.
**** : Hmm. Actually it's probably because you're not yourself. In that sense, perhaps.
yaya : ..... Somehow I agree.
**** : It's true. Perhaps in a way, you're putting on a mask. So when you say you don't know yourself, you don't know that mask, because it's like learning a script.
yaya : Dunno lahhs. Drop th topic. I'm really trying very hard already.
**** : What what. Tell you what, open up more the real you. And you'll find what you're looking for. Wait... You are trying right =.=
yaya : The problem is, I dunno whether I'm, trying to show the real me, or trying to accept th "mask" . Damn it!
**** : I mean, you ARE actually searching right. Let them accept th real you. Only that way will you ever be able to find that very feeling.

somehow. ii feel sad whenever im touching on this issue. things jus not going th right way at times. no matter how hard ii try, no matter how much effort ii put in, i'm always come back to th same point in th end, jus like walking in a circle, roundd and roundd ... ...
ii jus wish that ii cann be myself.
labels : take off!

miscommunication

2009-08-11T22:09:00.003+08:00

"joke"of my day.
it goes like this.
ii was complaining about my student wasnt paying attention when ii reach home .
denn everythingg started with ...
me : most of th children having good life nowadays.
her : you all not good mehs ?
me : im no saying we not having good life, (cos ii knw some people out there having worse), im jus "comparing" our times and theirs. you also everytime compare between your time and ours.
her : how can compare? th age of those children now also not much different from yours wad.
me : that's th reason we need to compare mahhs. jus a few years time, like difference so much.
(den she go back to her only reason)
her : you all not good mehs? people only child, we got three lehs.
me : den nicholas they all lehs ? (my nieces and nephews) .
(LL already den start to find excuses to be her reason)
her : people's parent willing to work hard mahhs. denn you all work hard to give your children good life lahhs.
[ ii were like .. =.=''' ]
andd when she start talking about money, dun bother to say anymore.
ii guess even though i'll be th one winning th "rebate" , her voice is still louder than mine. so , forget it!
firstly, im not even complaining my life is blah blah blah .~
secondly, their time and ours is obviously too many years back to compare.
thirdly, if you can say if we're willing to work hard, our children wont suffer . den why arent you doing it ? or when you're younger ?! jus cos you can have good life like my children if ii work hard? ii didnt mean anythingg lahhs. *no offence* . budd it jus sounds very selfish to me .. now ii undrestand why nobody in my family is successful . cos th selfishness is in th genes.!
this is why ii say ii really dunno how to communicate with them anymore.
when our reasons are seen as excuses and their excuses are our rules.
labels : Damn it!

2009-08-10T21:34:00.002+08:00

ii dunn really like th feeling of my world revolving aroundd yours.
haiss. its not supposedd to be this way .
budd ii jus cant help it.
label : fuck it!

my new love~

2009-08-10T20:51:00.002+08:00

somehow, ii gotta tell you guys a secret.
im like falling for others.
ii dunno wad am ii suppose to do .
feeling so lost.
he's making my heart beatingg so fast whenn im with him .
making me feelingg everythingg deep within me, more than you can expect.
smilingg happily,
angry,
jealous,
sad whenn he abondonedd me all by myself.
andd most importantly,
LOVED!
ii can feel th seriously in me whenn ii look at him .
im so sorry..
ii thinkk ii gonna spendd most my time with him than my guy.
you thinkk its that right or wrong.?
ii guess, nobody will gimme an exact answer . (sigh~)
cos there's never a right or wrong in this kinda stuff.
im gonna master everythingg to prove that i'll be happy with him aroundd ...
labels : DOTA! (:

th 101

2009-08-09T10:16:00.008+08:00

to th 101 on th 101th .

Evolving from nothing to my everythingg.

thou ii always say this to my peeps ,
" jus be yourself .. " " ... when th right person comes along, slot him in your life, budd not making him your life. "
until now ii realised how silly is it to tell them this when he/she is so in love with one.

you made me realised , you're different.
meeting different people, guys who made me feel better at that moment.
claiming to say how much they love me, whatsoever.
(ii doubt they know wad's love in th first place)
budd , whenever ii needed someone, they werent there, at all.
when you first stepped into my life, or can ii say when we first met..
(feel like laughing out loud now)
Seriously, ii cant fathom being your girlfriend and love everything bout you.
(at that point of time, ii emphasize!)
& besides, ii was determined that ii should love myself more than ii love anyone else, after those painful experience from previous relationships
eventually thru time, and as everyone know, time gradually change everything.
& ii mean everything.!
everythingg changes when ii got hospitalised.
especially , th feeling deep within me.
looking forward to receiving your calls, seeing you in person and spending time in your company.
budd on th other hand, hating myself for causing trouble to you.
ii know there times when im super stubborn and unreasonable,budd you will always find different way of assuring me over and over again.
(though its not very sweet at times)
basically , ii jus enjoy that .
cos its th only time when ii can whine like nobody business.
telling me that you wanna protect and love me to your utmost ability. & most importantly, dun wanna see me cry again .
ii dunno why, it jus touches me to my bone marrow.

BUDD YOUR WERE RIGHT, AND WRONG!

ii see everythingg so true budd ii still cry . because you always do th silliest yet sweetest thing that make me tear.
tryingg so hardd , controlling that lil monster in me , at times.
that lil monster that will spin me out of control.
iiLOVEuu, baby!

labels : take me cos you complete me. (: